You Make Me Stupid
by sarolonde
Summary: Tsukishima Kei learns a valuable lesson about having no password on his phone and passing out around his devious not-friends. Or maybe he doesn't considering the result. Texting fic, AU - University/College.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Ten chapters of texting fic (in which Kuroo cannot text for shit and Tsukki is a little grumpy butt) and one chapter of... not a texting fic :) you'll just have to see when you get there.

Honestly very self indulgent and just a bit of fun :)

They may be a little OOC (because they're grown up and texting I think allows a certain tsundere megane to be a little less reserved).

* * *

Monday

 **[03:36] Me  
** _Sending image file…  
File sent._

 **[08:47] Unknown Number**  
OHOHOHO what do we have here  
what a lovely sight to wake up to (･ω)

 **[09:03] Me**  
Shit. I am so sorry!  
My arsehole not-friends stole my phone while I was passed out.  
I would appreciate if you would erase that picture.  
I apologise profusely.

 **[09:04] Unknown Number  
** why were you passed out  
secret underground fight club or drunk

 **[09:06] Me**  
Uhh… Does it matter?

 **[09:06] Unknown Number**  
its tru both those make u sound cool  
one DOES makes u COOLER tho B)  
guess which

 **[09:06] Me  
** Fight club. Obviously.  
Do I know you…?

 **[09:07] Unknown Number  
** u sent me a pic of ur arse and u dont know me…?  
ohoho arent we a cocky sonbitch

 **[09:10] Me**  
Considering how your texting is descending into indiscernible babble I assume you're not the type of person I'd usually associate with.

 **[09:10] Unknown Number  
** ur right u sound like a law student with a stick up his arse  
which isn't, however, grounds for dismissing this fun convo  
also ironic bcoz im a law student

 **[09:23] Me**  
So… Why are you still texting me, random stranger who's seen my arse?

 **[09:23] Unknown Number**  
honestly im bored af  
plus ur actually pre fun to talk to  
and u have a nice arse  
always good incentive

 **[09:25] Me**  
Okay, this is ridiculous. Who are you?

 **[09:25] Unknown Number  
** iunno musta had my numbr somehow  
mayb one of ur not-friends knows me

 **[09:26] Me**  
As long as you erase the picture it doesn't matter.

 **[09:30] Me**  
Have you erased the picture…?

 **[09:37] Me**  
Hello?

 **[09:44] Unknown Number**  
if i say its hot can i keep it

 **[09:44] Me**  
Abso-fucking-lutely not.  
In fact that makes it more imperative you delete it.

 **[09:45] Unknown Number**  
buuuuut its so cute (.◜ω◝.)  
tell me why the dino print underwear

 **[09:45] Me  
** Oh my GOD, this is not happening!

 **[09:47] Unknown Number**  
r u like a palaeontologist or something  
the dino print is adorable

 **[09:48] Me**  
No. DELETE THE DAMN PICTURE!

 **[09:48] Unknown Number  
** woah bro no need to yell  
im serious here u have a really nice arse  
this thing needs to b worshipped  
plz tell me u have someone to worship this ona daily basis

 **[09:49] Me  
** I don't.  
Please, for fuck sakes, delete the damn picture.

 **[09:50] Unknown Number**  
i volunteer as arse worshippin tribute  
i bow down to those buns ( ◜◒◝ )

 **[09:54] Me  
** Okay, you're fucking weird.  
Are you a guy…?

 **[09:54] Weirdo**  
ohohoho! i do believe that is the first bit of curiosity from unknown hottie  
what u r in my phone btw  
i am indeed a dude  
i can tell ur gay too (・ω)

 **[09:57] Me**  
There is no possible way for you to know that from ONE picture.  
Even if it is of my arse.

 **[09:57] Weirdo**  
mayb i know u O.O  
also no denial so obvs u r gay

 **[09:59] Me  
** If you know me then what is my name?

 **[10:02] Weirdo  
** ok so mayb i lie  
but damn dude id like to know u

 **[10:07] Me**  
Because of my worship worthy arse in a picture that SHOULD HAVE ALREADY BEEN DELETED.  
Makes perfect sense. You don't want to know me, I'm an arsehole.

 **[10:08] Weirdo  
** i like arseholes  
in every sense of the word (^_-)

 **[10:15] Me  
** Lovely.

 **[10:15] Weirdo**  
lol ok ok im sorry  
ill delete it  
if u give me a week

 **[10:23] Me  
** A week for what?

 **[10:24] Weirdo  
** to get to know u

 **[10:26] Me  
** Delete it now and you have a 50% chance of receiving responses for the next week.  
Take it or leave it.  
Either way YOU NEED TO EREASE THE FUCKING PHOTO.

 **[10:26] Weirdo  
** lol i like ur agro its cute  
someone with dino underwear, texts like a lawyer and is an arsehole  
defs worth gettin to know

 **[10:29] Me**  
If you say so.

 **[10:40] Weirdo  
** tell me the names of ur not-friends and ill tell u if i know them  
just their given names if ur concerned  
i swear im not a weirdo  
if u have my number our friendship groups have to be close right

 **[10:41] Me  
** I'm not concerned about them, they're my not-friends remember?  
Also the more you say you're not a weirdo the more you sound like one.  
Tobio, Yuu and Ryuu are the likely suspects.

 **[10:41] Weirdo  
** dunno em  
what about actual friends

 **[10:42] Me  
** Uh, Tadashi and (begrudgingly) Shouyou.

 **[10:43] Weirdo  
** hinata shouyou  
the energetic shrimp with a smile as blinding as his hair

 **[10:44] Me  
** That's the one.  
How do you know him?

 **[10:44] Weirdo  
** mystery solved! good work scoob (/^▽^)/  
hes friends with my bff kenma

 **[10:45] Me**  
You did not just say "bff", what are you 12?

 **[10:48] Weirdo**  
interesting why is it 12s the go to for immaturity  
wouldnt a younger age b more suitable

 **[10:48] Me  
** What are you a philosopher?

 **[10:49] Weirdo  
** law student pay attention cute arse  
although theyre kinda similar  
need to b able to talk out ur arse for both

 **[10:50] Me  
** Apologies if I do not remember every fragment of information my phone slash arse stalker is giving me about himself.

 **[10:50] Weirdo  
** apology accepted  
also ur sass is almost as cute as ur arse  
aka extremely effing cute

 **[10:53] Me  
** Remind me to represent myself when I need a lawyer.  
If lawyers are like you it seems like the safer option.

 **[10:54] Weirdo  
** implyin ill b around to remind you ;)  
and implyin ur gunna do something naughty  
i like it

 **[10:56] Me  
** Die.

 **[10:56] Weirdo  
** oh cute arse how you wound me (｡•́︿•̀｡)  
do u have hobbies  
aside from dinos obv

 **[10:58] Me  
** I really don't like dinosaurs that much.

 **[10:58] Weirdo  
** sounds like a straight up lie to me  
ive seen ur underwear remember i kno the truth  
nobody buys dino underwear without purpose

 **[10:59] Me  
** Someone bought them for me. No purpose.

 **[11:01] Weirdo  
** HA! guilty!  
ppl wouldnt buy u dino underwear UNLESS they knew u liked dinos  
lawyered

 **[11:03] Me  
** Okay fine. Dinosaurs are cool. Are you happy?  
They're still not a hobby.  
What is your hobby?

 **[11:03] Weirdo  
** u love dinos soooo cute  
moooore curiosity :D  
u kno what they say about curiosity  
my hobby is swimming thank u for askin kind stranger

 **[11:07] Me  
** Swimming? Your hobby is swimming? That is a sport.

 **[11:08] Weirdo**  
swimming cant be a hobby?  
outside of school work (lawyerin) and chillin with my bros i don't have much time for other stuff  
netflix and chill or gaming with my bff

 **[11:10] Me**  
I have class, weirdo-who-won't-leave-me-alone.

 **[11:10] Weirdo**  
ok ^_^ ill talk to you later cute arse


	2. Chapter 2

Tuesday

 **[21:45] Weirdo**  
what class

 **[21:58] Me**  
What?

 **[21:59] Weirdo**  
what class do u take  
palaeontology

 **[22:00] Me  
** Ffs. Just because I have dinosaur underwear doesn't mean I'm a palaeontologist.  
Or even studying to be one.

 **[22:00] Weirdo  
** srry srry dont get ur dino panties in a twist  
what do u study then

 **[22:01] Me  
** And why exactly should I tell a complete weirdo stranger what I'm studying?  
You'll probably research all the courses in the greater metropolitan area looking for me.  
Or ask Hinata. God knows that idiotic little shit is dumb enough to send you my way.

 **[22:01] Weirdo  
** wha? scroll up!  
i promised i wasnt a weirdo didnt i

 **[22:03] Me  
** And that is supposed to assure me how…?

 **[22:03] Weirdo  
** i kinda wanna get to know u like this…  
before meetin u

 **[22:05] Me**  
Okay you realise how weird that is right?  
1\. You've already seen me, partially at least, therefore have an unfair advantage.  
2\. Generally text messaging is designated for people who know each other. I have no idea who you are. I mean, you could be like some catfish or something.  
3\. YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW ME I'M AN ARSEHOLE.

 **[22:08] Weirdo  
** holy shit, txtin long thought out shit like that gives me hope (.◜ω◝.)  
i can send u a selfie if u rly want just figured u didnt  
im not a catfish i know shrimpy rememeber!  
if ur rly concerned ask him  
also i already said i like arseholes  
and i dont JUST mean the one covered so deliciously tightly by that dino print

 **[22:10] Me  
** You. Are. Foul.

 **[22:11] Weirdo  
** haha srry hitting on u ova txt is hard  
(not the only thing thats hard :P )  
without my charming smile and rugged good looks it all just sounds creepy  
i swear im not as bad as i seem  
always a good start O.O

 **[22:20] Weirdo**  
dude im rly srry D:  
i promise to stop flirtin so hard

 **[22:48] Weirdo  
** plz dont ignore meeeee  
plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ( ˃̣̣̥ω˂̣̣̥ )

 **[23:19] Weirdo  
** ill send a pic  
to prove im not weird

 **[23:22] Weirdo  
** _Incoming image file…  
File received._

 **[23:23] Weirdo**  
ok so the hair isnt a good indication to be not being weird  
probs neithers the smile  
i have never had so much trouble takin a pic  
u make me nervous dude  
its that damn arse i truly cannot even come close to its beauty

 **[23:56] Weirdo**  
ur defs dead  
i hope not

 **[00:02] Me**  
I was watching a movie you fucking psycho.

 **[00:03] Psycho**  
omg hes alive! ＼（＾▽＾）／  
thank god the perfect arse is still alive n well  
what movie  
plz say jurassic park  
haha i can practically hear u sigh

 **[00:05] Me**  
It was Dark Knight NOT Jurassic Park.  
Stop with the dinosaur jokes. It's ONE PAIR OF UNDERWEAR!

 **[00:05] Psycho**  
soooo….  
the pic?

 **[00:13] Psycho  
** omg u hate me

 **[00:14] Me  
** I was getting into bed ffs.  
Do you have a chill button or something that you can press?  
If you're going to be this clingy all week then I'm really not going to be responding.

 **[00:14] Psycho**  
i have a button u can press ;)  
lol srry u make me nervous  
especially with the pic  
please just end my misery and tell me what u think

 **[00:15] Me**  
Your hair is crazy.

 **[00:15] Psycho**  
OTL no shiz dude  
and…?

 **[00:17] Me  
** Seriously, how do you even get it to stand up at that angle?  
Is it product?  
It doesn't really look like product. I can't see any product.  
Is it natural bedhead?  
Have you reported this to the International Council for Science? Because that thing breaks all laws of Physics.

 **[00:18] Psycho**  
…. holy shit r u fkin with me rn?  
sweet arse descended from heaven i think i found my soul mate (ʃƪ˘⌣˘)  
u think im hot so ur covering by bein an arse  
im onto u sweet arse descended from heaven  
what u r on my phone now btw ^_^

 **[00:18] Me**  
You're not attractive.

 **[00:18] Psycho**  
ohoho real convincing  
so why r u still talkin to me after my psycho display  
u think im gorgeous~  
u want to kiss me~  
u want to hold me~  
u want to touch me~

 **[00:20] Me**  
I definitely don't now that you sung the song from Miss Congeniality.

 **[00:21] Psycho**  
which means at some stage u did!  
winnahhhh （〜^∇^)〜〜(^∇^〜）

 **[00:22] Me**  
You're not bad I suppose.

 **[00:23] Psycho**  
omg ill take it! ^_^  
though u totes underplayin it

 **[00:23] Me  
** I thought you said I make you nervous. This doesn't sound nervous. This sounds like arrogance to me. Which is completely unsurprising. From what little I know of your weirdness.

 **[00:24] Psycho**  
me nervous is like most peoples highly caffeinated  
pre much just hyper  
very hard not to b when u so hot  
(very hard not to b hard when u so hot ;P )

 **[00:26] Me  
** Okay I'd like to point out that you don't actually know if I'm hot. I refuse to believe that:  
1\. You can tell I'm gay from my arse. I'm not.  
2\. That I'm 'hot' from my arse.  
3\. Do you think hitting on me in brackets is making it less bad? Because it's not.

 **[00:27] Psycho  
** wow u rly like this whole organised numbr thing  
i like it  
ur super cute and would make a good lawyer  
confuse the jury with cuteness and orderly arguments that sound good but r actually nonsense  
also no point denyin ur gay i know u r  
have a good feel for these things  
also have a feelin ur pretty  
also the brackets ttlly soften the blow :P  
(why does all this sexual innuendo naturally come up (HA), its not good for my rep wit chu)

 **[00:29] Me  
** What are you some kind of fucking naturalist?  
Do you FEEL you know the numbers for next week's lotto?  
Do you FEEL you know what the weather will be tomorrow?  
Do you FEEL you know that the world is angry at us for destroying the natural order of things?  
(I'm just going to continue ignoring the brackets. For the safety of your already shredded reputation with me).

 **[00:29] Psycho  
** cute rants r cute  
no im not a naturalist i just…  
i just…  
ok?  
(omg u care! u soooo nice cute butt i knew u were a keepa)

 **[00:30] Me  
** No. No, not okay. Fuck you're so fucking weird.

 **[00:30] Psycho  
** do u think ur hot

 **[00:30] Me  
** No.

 **[00:30] Psycho  
** see defs hot

 **[00:33] Me  
** YOU LITERALLY MAKE NO SENSE.  
But I do see where you're trying to take this logic. And you're wrong. I'll tell you why.

 **[00:33] Psycho  
** :D course u will

 **[00:35] Me  
** Hush you confused naturalist weirdo psycho.  
You think that because I don't believe that I'm 'hot' it means I AM.  
However, attractive people tend to be arrogant because they've had an easy go in life and more than just their parents told them they're attractive. Gain confidence. Boast their beauty. As kids get petted on the head every time they so merrily say how awesome they are. Like a dog getting treats.  
And then it continued into their adolescence and adulthood when they got laid anytime they batted an eyelash.  
I am telling you now that I am not 'hot'. I would say so if I was. Simple logic.

 **[00:38] Psycho  
** …  
that is the best thing i have evr read  
and i read lots of awesome(ly ridiculous) law cases  
r u an angel  
ur brain is beautiful i want to cut your skull open and kiss it  
also ur jaded af in the best way possible  
but i must argue that this is not tru for all cases

 **[00:40] Me  
** I know on that fucked up psycho level of yours you think kissing my brain is a compliment but it's just disturbing. Maybe you're Lector.  
And of course it's not true of all cases, it's a generalisation. It's impossible to be true for all cases.  
I bet you're one of those people. The ones with the over stroked ego.

 **[00:41] Psycho**

u just admitted u think im attractive  
bcoz u said those people R ACTUALLY ATTRACIVE  
"Attractive people tend to be arrogant"  
even if im not one of those ppl u indirectly admitted im hot therefore i win ＼（＾▽＾）／  
omfg i shall cherish this moment into all eternity!  
cute arse thinks im hotttttttttttttt

 **[00:46] Me**  
I NEVER said such a thing. AND I NEVER WILL.  
YOU ARE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE YOU ARROGANT PRICK.  
I'm going to sleep. Your arrogance is tiring.

 **[00:47] Psycho  
** awwww u dont mean that ur just angry bcoz i know the truth now ^_^  
nite sweet cheeks xooxoxxx


	3. Chapter 3

Wednesday

 **[14:23] Psycho**  
u never answered

 **[14:44] Me  
** What?

 **[14:46] Psycho  
** what ur studyin

 **[14:47] Me  
** Why the fuck are you still talking to me?  
I'm jaded and an arsehole remember?

 **[14:47] Psycho  
** i have all week to get to know u remember  
not sure how many times i have to say arsehole is good  
jaded pre much the same boat

 **[14:48] Me  
** Those are unhealthy qualities to be attracted to in a person.

 **[14:49] Psycho  
** i often wonder if ur pushin me away (or attemptin to) with this arsehole thing bcoz u don wanna talk  
or bcoz ur afraid u like talkin to me  
it may b unhealthy to seek (which i don't) but when it accompanies good qualities…?  
(also i don't believe u r actually n arsehole)

 **[14:52] Me**  
Ugh. Don't get all fucking preachy and real with me Mister I-type-like-an-eight-year-old.  
I'm in my third year of my teaching degree.

 **[14:53] Psycho  
** nice subj change btws ^_^  
my jaw just dropped not even exaggeratin  
ur like going to be a hot professor arent u  
i bet u have glasses and that like steely gaze that makes students too scared to ask questions  
but they be so attracted to u  
bcoz dat arse

 **[14:54] Me  
** I actually do have glasses… How did you know that?

 **[14:54] Psycho**  
ohhhh im just that good (･ω)  
ur also pale… tall… rly tall

 **[14:54] Me**  
Seriously how…?

 **[14:59] Psycho  
** i may or may not have kept the pic… D:  
plz dont hate me!

 **[14:59] Me  
** OMFG I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU.  
And yet somehow I'm not surprised.  
Deals off. No more texting. Goodbye Psycho.

 **[15:00] Psycho  
** im srry! u dont understand i cant delete it  
do u have any idea how hot ur arse is  
its like… srsly dude, instant boner

 **[15:29] Psycho**  
ok im srry i should stop being a creep  
i rly cant help it tho

 **[15:55] Psycho  
** im srry i rly am  
plz dont hate me… :(

* * *

Thursday

 **[10:23] Psycho**  
still ignorin me?

 **[10:45] Psycho**  
i rly am srry  
i didnt want to hurt u or offend u  
im just a very honest person and ur arse is one of the best things ive ever seen  
and i know that sounds crass and horrible and i sound like a shallow douche  
but ur super cute  
from what ive learnt anyway

 **[10:49] Psycho  
** which is exactly my point  
i like… like u  
which is fkn stupid  
im not stupid even if i act it sometimes i know how stupid it seems and is but i do like u  
talkin has been fun  
i like the way u think and talk and react  
its been what 3 days and i just want to talk more and know u  
which means something to me

 **[10:52] Psycho  
** srry i swear im not usually this weird  
and sorry for blowin up ur phone  
i understand if u dont txt me again

 **[13:14] Psycho  
** im srry :(

 **[13:16] Psycho  
** i will stop bothering u now  
i am so very sorry

* * *

 **[21:37] Me  
** Who is Kenma's best friend?

 **[21:42] Short And Loud  
** um, Kuroo? why do you want to know?  
how do you know him?

 **[21:43] Me**  
Kuroo what?

 **[21:45] Short And Loud**  
woah woah, I'm not telling you Stingyshima until you tell me why!

 **[21:46] Me  
** At some point in time you must have contacted him via my phone and saved his number to my contacts. When those idiots sent that picture of my arse when I was passed out drunk to most of my contact list they also sent it to him. He started talking to me.

 **[21:46] Short And Loud  
** and…?

 **[21:48] Me  
** And nothing. I wanted to know who I was talking to.

 **[21:55] Short And Loud  
** if your so close with him why don't you already know or ask him?

 **[21:57] Me  
** Fine.

* * *

 **[22:23] Me  
** I am going to tell you something and you have to promise not to laugh.  
Or really react at all.

 **[22:25] Yamaguchi  
** Tsukki!  
I'm not even allowed to respond at all…?  
Then what exactly is the point of telling me?

 **[22:25] Me  
** You can respond, idiot. Just don't laugh.  
There is this guy that, long story short, I don't know him but his number was in my phone because of your idiotic boyfriend (who I assume you're with right now because you certainly aren't home) and those idiots sent him a picture of my arse and then he started talking to me. The guy.

 **[22:26] Yamaguchi  
** The mass picture last weekend…?

 **[22:26] Me  
** Yes. And I kind of… Like talking to him.

 **[22:27] Yamaguchi  
** Sometimes I wonder how anyone ever understands you Tsukki!  
You suck at explaining things and I can't read your face through message!

 **[22:27] Me  
** I LIKE HIM  
And I'm pretty sure he likes me. A lot. Won't shut up about it really.

 **[22:28] Yamaguchi  
** WHAT?! O.O  
But you haven't met him…?

 **[22:28] Me  
** We've messaged each other through the week, quite a bit, and I saw a picture of him.

 **[22:28] Yamaguchi  
** Omg Tsukki! You have a crush!

 **[22:30] Me  
** I TOLD YOU NOT TO LAUGH

 **[22:32] Yamaguchi  
** I didn't, I'm happy ^_^

 **[22:32] Me  
** Well don't. It's disconcerting.

 **[22:32] Yamaguchi  
** It's disconcerting when I'm happy? You must be disconcerted a lot Tsukki.

 **[22:34] Me  
** Most of the time, yes.

 **[22:34] Yamaguchi  
** Okay so who is this friend of Shou's?

 **[22:39] Me  
** Your idiot boyfriend only gave me 'Kuroo'.

 **[22:39] Yamaguchi  
** KUROO TETSUROU?  
KUROO TETSUROU IS THE GUY YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON?  
WHAT IS HAPPENING  
He likes you?  
Kuroo Tetsurou likes you?  
Tsukki! OMFG.

 **[22:40] Me  
** Megaphone down Yamaguchi. It hurts my eyes.

 **[22:40] Yamaguchi  
** Sorry Tsukki!  
But OHHHMYGHOD  
Do you have any idea how hot KUROO TETSUROU is?

 **[22:40] Me  
** I do recall telling you something about receiving a picture from him.  
So, yes.  
Also stop saying his name like he's some deity that needs to be worshipped.  
He's really a fucking dork. And so cheesy. Like ugh. Gross. Nuclear shower please and thank you.

 **[22:42] Yamaguchi  
** Wait, wait, wait.  
Why exactly were you going to Shou for his name?

 **[22:42] Me  
** I got mad at him.  
He kept the picture when I asked him to delete it.  
And…

 **[22:50] Yamaguchi  
** And…..?

 **[22:53] Yamaguchi  
** Tsukki, please don't tell me that you're scared.  
Please don't tell me that you've stopped talking to KUROO TETSUROU because he scares you and you like him and you want to get to know him and your attracted to him but you're too scared.  
If that is the case expect to be smothered in your sleep tomorrow night when I get home.  
This is why you make no new friends because you just run away from the people you actually like.

 **[22:58] Yamaguchi  
** I literally just said to Shou "If I murdered you to be with Kuroo Tetsurou what would you do?"  
He said, and I quote "*shrug* I'd allow it."

 **[23:04] Me  
** Okay you're both idiots with flawed logic because Hinata would be dead and wouldn't be able to 'allow' anything.  
Also, Kuroo's not worth it. I mean sure he's attractive but he's a big fucking dork who can't text for shit, does nothing but make sexual jokes and puns, refuses to believe I'm an arsehole and gets all nervous trying to take a picture for me. He's foul.

 **[23:06] Yamaguchi  
** Oh my God you REALLY like him!  
Instead of all that rambling you may have well just said "He's cute."

 **[23:06] Me  
** Stop, I can practically see you bouncing.

 **[23:06] Yamaguchi  
** You liiiike him. You're going to kiss him and touch him and marry him and have babies with him.

 **[23:07] Me  
** You spend too much time with your dumb boyfriend.  
Also you're going to make a terrible nurse if you don't understand male physiology.  
And shut up Yamaguchi.

 **[23:07] Yamaguchi  
** No.

 **[23:08] Me  
** What…?

 **[23:08] Yamaguchi  
** I'm not shutting up. I'm rebelling.

 **[23:08] Me  
** ….. Good?  
I literally have no idea what you're on about.  
Are you high?

 **[23:10] Yamaguchi  
** What do you mean? You always say "shut up Yamaguchi" and I say "sorry Tsukki!"  
It's our thing… How can you not…?  
OH I SEE.  
You're sneaky. But you can't fool me! Stop changing the subject and stalling!

 **[23:11] Me  
** Now I really don't know what you're talking about :)

 **[23:11] Yamaguchi  
** GO AND APOLOGISE AND TALK TO HIM!  
I demand it.

 **[23:14] Me  
** I really don't think I can. It won't end well.

 **[23:14] Yamaguchi**  
It's really rude that you've hidden this gift of foresight from me all these years. I'm your best friend Tsukki!  
Also KUROO TETSUROU is a freaking Adonis.  
Talk. To. Him.  
Tsukki and Kuroo sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

 **[23:15] Me  
** Do not even.

 **[23:15] Yamaguchi  
** First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Tsukki with a baby carriage.

 **[23:15] Me  
** YOU ARE A CHILD.  
STOP.

 **[23:16] Yamaguchi  
** Talk to him and I'll stop ^_^

 **[23:16] Me  
** FINE.

 **[23:19] Me  
** _Sending image file…  
File sent.  
_See. Talking to him. So stop.

 **[23:19] Yamaguchi  
** Omg does he really text like that…? Worse than Shou.


	4. Chapter 4

Thursday

 **[23:11] me  
** KENNNNN IM DYING  
IM THE WORST  
WAT IS WRONG WITH ME  
WHY DO I HAVE NO FILTER  
WHY IS MY BRAIN SO STUPID  
WHY DO I SAY SUCH STUPID THINGS  
.·´¯`(▂)´¯`·.

 **[23:11] lil kitty  
** you're being dramatic  
though working on that filter would do you some good

 **[23:11] Me  
** omg ur the worst  
why do i even come to u seeking comfort

 **[23:12] lil kitty  
** if you were seeking comfort you'd go to Bokuto-san  
also why are you texting me I'm literally on the other side of the wall

 **[23:12] me  
** says possibly the laziest person in history  
last nite u txt me to get u an extra blanket from the closet IN UR ROOM

 **[23:12] lil kitty**  
I was cold

 **[23:13] me**  
ur face is cold

 **[23:14] lil kitty  
** okay you're descending into "your face" come backs and I think I just heard you wail  
is this guy seriously affecting you this much?  
your acting weird Kuro

 **[23:14] me  
** I KNOW KEN SAVE ME  
i rly dont know what im doing or even whats happenin  
i just  
fuck  
my  
life  
what if he never talks to me again  
what if he rly was my soulmate  
what if hes perf and i never meet him becoz im an effing douche who cant stfu  
wait u know his friend, hinata, give me his numbr

 **[23:15] lil kitty  
** which friend of Shouyou's is he?

 **[23:15] me  
** how am i supposed to know  
tall, pale, leggy af  
beautiful though ive never seen his face i can just tell

 **[23:15] lil kitty  
** glasses?

 **[23:16] me**  
YES OMFG YES KEN U KNOW HIM  
TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME

 **[23:16] lil kitty**  
I am not giving you the power to stalk him and ruin it further for yourself  
just be patient  
if you're still feeling this way next week I'll ask Shouyou for you

 **[23:17] me**  
KENNNNNNNNNNNNN-  
omfg he txt me  
he txt me he txt me he txt me  
kill me  
how do i respond  
how do i act like a person

 **[23:17] lil kitty  
** stop texting me and chill  
also can you make me tea?

* * *

 **[23:17] Me**  
Kuroo?

 **[23:18] Psycho**  
yes…?

 **[23:18] Me  
** I want to apologise.

 **[23:19] Psycho**  
u… i… what?  
what r u apologising for?  
im the one that should apologise

 **[23:20] Me  
** I overreacted though you really should have deleted the picture I suppose it doesn't really matter. It's not like you can see my face or identify me and therefore logically it's harmless.  
I'm sorry I ignored you. It was rude. But I have trust issues and I'm insecure.

 **[23:22] Psycho  
** woah real talk ok i can do this and prove im not always a douche  
i know this wont be convincing but u can trust me  
but i know that shit doesnt just happen so ill just have to show u that u can

 **[23:26] Me  
** That's really nice but you don't have to. I was just letting you know what happened. I have a tendency to push people away and ignore them because it's easier.

 **[23:26] Psycho  
** i dont have to but i want to  
talkin to me is hard?

 **[23:27] Me  
** Partly. Not because of you though.

 **[23:27] Psycho  
** then why

 **[23:29] Me  
** Reasons.

 **[23:29] Psycho  
** what reasons

 **[23:35] Psycho  
** reasons like… u like me reasons?

 **[23:37] Me  
** Maybe.

 **[23:38] Psycho  
** plz stop with the short answers im like dyin inside  
wait u know my name  
ttlly just forgot about that was too excited that u txt me

 **[23:38] Me  
** I got Kuroo from Hinata and then Kuroo Tetsurou from my best friend aka Hinata's boyfriend, Yamaguchi, because apparently my best friend has met you.

 **[23:39] Kuroo  
** freckles is ur bff?!  
omfg hes so adorbs i wanted to cuddle the stuffing outta him

 **[23:41] Me  
** Yeah well he called you an Adonis. Please feel free to tease him about that the next time you see him, it's part of my revenge.

 **[23:41] Kuroo**  
an adonis?! thats probs an exaggeration  
whats the other part of the revenge

 **[23:43] Me  
** Don't get all modest, Yamaguchi isn't generally one for exaggeration. Also he said he'd leave Hinata for you. Hinata who you'd swear the sun shone out his arse the way Yamaguchi talks about him. That's how in love they are and how serious he is about leaving Hinata for you. Better yet, Hinata shrugged and said he'd "allow it".  
I'm thinking itching powder in his bed. Maybe if I'm lucky it'll get them both.

 **[23:43] Kuroo  
** naww yamyams so sweet ^_^  
theyre so beautifully gross together  
wait so is this why ur talkin to me again bcoz now u want my arse now that u know im an adonis

 **[23:44] Me  
** We literally started talking because you wanted the exact same from me.  
So climb right back down from that high horse.  
I wanted to talk to you again before I spoke to Yamaguchi and he informed me you're a supposed Adonis.

 **[23:44] Kuroo  
** OMG did u go to freckles for advice about me!?  
U R SO CUTE  
pinch me this is a dream rite

 **[23:46] Me  
** The best I can offer is a punch in the face.

 **[23:46] Kuroo**  
a punch on my mouth with ur mouth? (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و

 **[23:49] Me  
** No.

 **[23:50] Kuroo  
** ok ok so ive met ur best friend have u met mine  
the 1 we have in common at least

 **[23:50] Me  
** Kenma? Yes, I have met Kenma.  
I like him, he's not overbearing like most people, namely one midget who literally does not stop bouncing around and yelling.

 **[23:52] Kuroo  
** lol yeh my lil kitty ken is the best  
so… whats ur name? :)

 **[23:52] Me  
** Kenma didn't tell you?

 **[23:53] Kuroo  
** no he said he wasnt going to give me the power to stalk u and ruin it more  
hes a good friend bcoz i ttlly woulda lowkey stalked u  
like fb or insta or something not like outside ur window at nite  
there are limits to my creepy ^_^

 **[23:57] Me  
** Tsukishima Kei

 **[23:57] Kuroo  
** TSUKKI?!  
OMG UR TSUKKI!

 **[23:57] Me  
** Do not call me that.

 **[23:58] Kuroo  
** what why its sooooo cute and suits u  
freckles was tellin me bout u  
bcoz ur brother is a detective cant remember how we got to it, something about law  
ok ima stalk ur insta and fb that ok?  
legit not doin it until u give permission  
trust is important tsukki

 **[23:59] Me  
** You won't find much on either but go ahead. Yamaguchi's will probably have more of me.

 **[23:59] Kuroo  
** omg yams fb I didnt even think of that  
glad i didn't, i feel better with permission  
u can check mine toooo 3

 **[00:03] Me  
** I may or may not have already done that.

 **[00:05] Kuroo  
** :O GASP I AM SHOCKED TSUKISHIMA KEI ABSOLUTELY SHOCKED  
i rly like that u alrdy did tho so adorable  
ur so interested in me :D

 **[00:13] Kuroo**  
tsukki? ur quiet  
uve been quiet since i asked ur name

 **[00:27] Kuroo**  
r u showering r u asleep  
…tsukki r u perhaps embarrassed? or nervous

 **[00:32] Me**  
Of course I'm fucking nervous you idiot. I don't know if you've looked in a mirror lately but you're really fucking attractive, Adonis is not even strong enough to describe you. Because you have this dishevelled charm and you're smart…? How does someone text message the way you do then fucking kill a law degree like it's a walk in the park? That completely goes against all laws of nature. Also swimming explains everything, you so obviously swim so much more than casually because holy shit. Adonis.  
And I'm just… Ugh.

 **[00:36] Kuroo**  
tsukki tsukki tsukki  
so beautiful but so incredibly stupid  
and u werent kidding about bein insecure but ol kuroo will fix that  
law is anything but a walk in the park i just study hard so half offended u think i do it so easy half flattered u think im smart bcoz ur smart tsukki n i know that for a fact because freckles said so and he doesnt exaggerate remember?  
u strike me as one of those ppl who just never cared about bein attractive (goin back to our attractive people are arrogant theory) but u r so effing attractive tsukki  
like holy shit dude  
u r beautiful  
also on the unis swim team, but whos countin :D

 **[00:38] Me  
** I'm not beautiful. But that's your opinion and you're allowed it.  
Also you called me stupid and then smart so I'm really not sure where your opinion on that stands.  
And I shouldn't care. I shouldn't care what you think about me. I never care what other people think but for some reason I care what you think… It feels strange and uncomfortable and I don't like it.

 **[00:39] Kuroo  
** ur smart defs smart  
just silly bcoz i make u nervous dw tho u do the same to me  
real talk?

 **[00:39] Me  
** Go ahead.

 **[00:41] Kuroo  
** ok so i think i like u but obvs we dont know each other all that well so thats what i want  
for now  
just to get to know u  
i was so upset when u werent responding it was rly pathetic and im only tellin u becoz it proves i rly enjoy talkin to u also im an honest person sometimes too honest =/  
so lets just like talk and not worry bout all the insecurity (from both of us) and attraction (that seems fairly mutual) and ill try tone down the flirting  
emphasis on TRY bcoz im pre out of control sometimes it just happens  
natural response when ur so cute  
sound good?

 **[00:42] Me  
** I can do that. It was pretty pathetic but I am sorry I ignored you.  
I'd like to get to know you too Kuroo.

 **[00:42] Kuroo**  
see u say cute things like that and i just… omg  
breathe  
ok yay excited to know tsukki!

 **[00:43] Me  
** Are you at home?

 **[00:43] Kuroo**  
yes… wanna know what im wearin (・ω)  
and I failed the flirting thing already woot

 **[00:45] Me  
** I'll just ignore it.  
Why are you home on a Friday night? Or did you do something earlier?

 **[00:46] Kuroo  
** probs a good idea  
no just been studyin its how i make a law degree look like a walk in the park

 **[00:46] Me  
** Surprising. You kind of looked like the type of person who went out every Friday and Saturday night.

 **[00:48] Kuroo  
** 'surprising' rude  
i look like a party boi?  
mm mayb when i started uni but not nemore  
tend to do more day hangs with my bros now bcoz im all responsible and shiz  
also i really just like law

 **[00:49] Me  
** You look a bit like a 'party boi'. But I respect the studying. It's what I've been doing all night. I have a group project I need to prepare for. And now I need to sleep.

 **[00:51] Kuroo**  
ugh me toooo i dont wanna  
talkin to u is too good tho  
ur too much fun

 **[00:52] Me  
** I don't think anyone has ever said that to me in the history of my life.

 **[00:52] Kuroo  
** then the ppl around u r dumb  
also i know thats not tru freckles adores u

 **[00:57] Me  
** Doesn't count, he's like family.  
NEED SLEEP STOP TEXTING.  
Goodnight Kuroo.

 **[00:58] Kuroo  
** ^_^ srry not srry i like talkin 2 u  
gnight tsukki!  
thank u for talkin to me again 3


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** "me" in this chapter is always Kuroo.

* * *

Friday

 **[17:02] brokuto  
** bro

 **[17:03] me  
** yeh bro?

 **[17:05] brokuto  
** ok so u know how u had that like hour long rant to me this morning about that guy you've been texting  
the cute one, tall, blond, glasses, "ridiculously beautiful and sharp as a whip"  
he makes u act all stupid and uve never met him  
tsukki

 **[17:05] me  
** i rly didnt need the rundown, we literally talked bout it 6 hours ago  
and i have a picture of him tapped to the inside of my eyes bro  
whats ur point

 **[17:05] brokuto  
** _Receiving image file…  
File received._  
that him?

 **[17:05] me**  
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK  
WHERE R U  
WHATS HAPPENING  
WHY R U WITH HIM  
WHY IS HE NEXT TO AKAASHI  
WHATS HAPPENING  
WHAT…  
BRO…  
WTF  
(why is he so pretty D: kill me)

 **[17:07] brokuto**  
so turns out that he and keiji r working on the same project :D  
dw i didnt tell him i know him or u  
though keiji keeps lookin at me like im crazy  
which aint all that diff from usual

 **[17:08] me  
** WHAT IS MY LIFE  
HOW HAS EVERYONE I KNOW MET HIM BUT NOT ME  
HOW IS THIS HAPPENING  
where r u

 **[17:10] brokuto  
** uni library appaz u go to the same uni and have nevr seen each other  
pre cray and ken knows him and keiji knows him and now i know him  
also dude ur so fuckd hes so pretty  
even keiji agrees  
keiji who struggles to give me his own bf a compliment was just straight up "this guy im workin with is incredibly attractive" which is why ofc i came rushin over all jealous like and then realise hes so fuckin right and i just stood there starin at tsukki a while b4 keiji smacked me upside the head

 **[17:13] me  
** DONT TELL ME THAT  
UR THE FUCKIN DEVIL  
WTF BRO  
GO TAKE UR SPIKEY OWL HEAD AND SHOVE IT WHERE THE SUN DONT SHINE  
sorry  
im sorry bro i didnt mean it  
im getting like jealousy rage blackouts  
I WANNA MEET HIM o(╥﹏╥)o  
but no, not meetin him, gettin to know him  
stay the path tetsurou

 **[17:14] brokuto  
** shit dude ur so broken  
dont blame u hes pre hot  
he reminds me of keiji all icy cold n shit  
bro watchin them melt (if u kno what i mean :P ) is like the meanin of life

 **[17:16] me  
** bro u makin it rly fckn hard (pun INCREDIBLY intended) to not come (again SO FCKN intended) down to the library and kiss his fckn face off  
stop  
plz  
i need to stay strong  
ur not helping bro

 **[17:16] brokuto  
** im sorry bro! STAY THE COURSE

* * *

 **[17:13] me  
** i need u to do something for me and ask no questions

 **[17:15] lil kitty  
** who did you kill?  
I'm not burying a body, I really don't think I'm strong enough to carry it  
ask Bokuto-san

 **[17:15] me  
** if i had a body to bury brokuto-built-like-a-brick-shithouse-koutarou is obvs my first stop  
nice to kno u wouldnt tattle on me tho 3  
BARRICADE MY DOOR PLZ KTHX

 **[17:15] lil kitty  
** ….why?

 **[17:16] me  
** i said no questions ken

 **[17:16] lil kitty  
** is this because Akaashi-san is with Tsukishima?

 **[17:17] me  
** …  
HOW?!  
WHAT KIND OF MOTHERFUCKING SORCERER R U KEN  
AND WHY HAVE U NOT TOLD ME?!

 **[17:18] lil kitty  
** Akaashi-san text me, I think Bokuto was showing him your messages  
he said that you need to learn some self-restraint but also that your screwed because Tsukishima is really attractive  
which I kind of have to agree with

 **[17:18] me  
** OMG KEN LOAN ME SOME OF UR CHILL  
I NEED IT SO BAD  
HES GOING TO THINK IM SOME CRAZY FANBOY

 **[17:19] lil kitty  
** you sound like a drug addict  
and you are a crazy fanboy

 **[17:19] me  
** i am and my drug of choice is tsukishima kei ＾▽＾

 **[17:21] lil kitty  
** stop thinking about him and study you have a lot of work to do this weekend remember

 **[17:21] me  
** that's your advice…? T_T  
to stop thinking about him and study…?  
why r all my friends absolutely no help

 **[17:22] lil kitty  
** …calm down?

* * *

 **[17:26] brokuto  
** shit bro i dun fucked up…

* * *

 **[17:27] tsukki~~  
** I'm assuming that's you Bokuto-san is texting.

* * *

 **[17:27] me  
** ur dead 2 me

 **[17:28] brokuto  
** IM SORRY BRO PLZ FORGIVE ME  
IT WAS A MISTAKE I SWEAR  
HE PINNED ME WITH THOSE SHARP GOLD EYES AND FUCK DUDE UR SO RIGHT HES SO SMART  
IS HE A FKN MIND READER?!

 **[17:30] me  
** no dude hes smart and ur just that transparent  
damn ur stupid adorable owl face  
i cant stay mad at u bro i forgive u

* * *

 **[17:31]** **me** **  
**heyyyyyy tsukki~! ^_^  
whatcha talkin bout?  
u kno bokuto?

 **[17:32]** **tsukki~~ 3** **  
**Smooth. Not suspicious at all. Especially after Akaashi-san already told me everything.  
Though it wasn't his fault. Congratulations on finding a best friend that's louder than Hinata by the way. Truly an achievement. He's the one that gave you away.  
Tell me you're not coming here. Any hesitation in responding and I'm leaving.

 **[17:32]** **me** **  
**im not coming! i swear

 **[17:34]** **me**  
god i want to tho  
especially after bokuto and akaashi pretty much confirmed my suspicions that ur the most attractive person in history  
but i cant bcoz i promised myself this is how id get to kno u =/

 **[17:39]** **tsukki~~** **  
**That's ridiculous. Akaashi-san is clearly the most attractive person in history.  
(Responses may be delayed due to project)

 **[17:40]** **me** **  
**IKR! how bokuto ever landed that ill never know  
hes my bro and while NOT unattractive by any means its still a fckn mystery  
i do think ur possibly hotter tho i havent met u just seen lotsa pics  
that navy blue sweater does all kindsa good things for ur stunning complexion  
(thats fine bby)

 **[17:42]** **tsukki~~**  
God damn it, I knew he was taking a picture. He's such a terrible liar.

 **[17:42]** **me** **  
**ha yeh he is  
srry im bein creepy again

 **[17:42]** **tsukki~~** **  
**It's okay, I don't mind.

 **[17:43]** **me** **  
**:O u… don't… mind…?!  
so i can talk bout how hot u r  
and how fkn sexy ur arse is  
and that i jerked off lookin at it and thinkin bout u

 **[17:48]** **tsukki~~** **  
**YOU DID WHAT?!

 **[17:48]** **me** **  
**ok so i found the line…  
i seem to be rly good at pushin at it  
mayb if i keep nudgin it ill get some dic pics (・∀・)

 **[17:49]** **tsukki~~**  
100% there will never be ANY dick pictures.

 **[17:49]** **me** **  
**u know thats a filthy lie tsukki  
shouldnt lie, specially not to urself ^_^

 **[17:56]** **tsukki~~** **  
**Did you really…? Do that.

 **[17:56] Kuroo  
** OHOHOHO ur curious! (･ω)  
r u kidding have u seen ur arse?!  
ofc i fuckin did

 **[17:57]** **tsukki~~** **  
**Fuck sakes. Do you even know what 'shame' means?

 **[17:57] Kuroo  
** unless defending someone in court 'shame' does not exist in my vocab  
cmon tsukki ur so hot i couldnt not

 **[18:04]** **tsukki~~** **  
**Can we not talk about this now? I'm in public. Near your friends to be specific.  
I'll be home in like an hour.

 **[18:04] Kuroo  
** woah woah woah does that mean we can actually TALK BOUT THIS?!  
like  
shit tsukki dont tease me like this plz tell me ur bein serious

* * *

 **[18:06] akaashi (owl fucker)  
** Kuroo Tetsurou, DO NOT sext my group partner in the middle of the library. You are the worst.  
Do not corrupt him like this, do not embarrass him like this. Stop. Now.

 **[18:07] brokuto  
** shit bro hes all flustered this is the cutest thing i have ever seen (apart from keiji ofc)  
BRO U NEED TO TAP THAT  
keiji just hit me 4 txtin u but its so worth it :D

* * *

 **[18:09] Kuroo**  
can u plz kindly tell my friends i have stopped  
and im srry  
u just do things to me  
but im stopping  
new convo  
what do u want to teach  
subjects and year level?

 **[18:11]** **tsukki~~**  
High school level for now. I'd like to be a professor though. I'm going to be able to teach History, Science and Japanese.  
I prefer History though but there are always an abundance of History teachers and not so many Science teachers unfortunately.  
Job wise the Science is the smarter preference.

 **[18:11] Kuroo**  
but u like history

 **[18:13]** **tsukki~~**  
I LOVE history.

 **[18:14]** **me**  
then do history  
fuck jobs  
even if ok u get into some school bcoz of ur science u push with all ur strength to teach history  
ima big believer in want over necessity  
wtf is a cushy life worth unless ur enjoying wat ur doin

 **[18:20]** **tsukki~~** **  
**First of all, wow, I didn't realise you were such an intense life coach. All the 'chill bro af' attitude really hides that side of you.  
Second, the career you're studying for is basically the cushy-life-seekers path.

 **[18:29]** **me** **  
**wat if i want to be a public defender  
thats definitely not getting me into cushy anythin  
not that that is what im aimin for  
it doesnt matter to me where i take my lawyerin becoz i enjoy it  
i enjoy arguin with pompos arses and winnin and seein the utter disdain in their expressions becoz a smartarse lil prick like me beat them ^_^  
im not doin this for cushy that just happens to be a side benefit if that is where i end up takin my degree

 **[18:46]** **tsukki~~**  
Okay that was kind of hot despite the horrible lack of grammar.  
I'm on my way home. I'll text you when I get there.

 **[18:48] me  
** U JUST CALLD ME HOT EVEN IF IT WAS PRECEEDED WITH "KIND OF"  
tsukki u slay me  
plz dont be teasin now  
i rly dont think i could take it

* * *

 **[18:49] me  
** OTL  
i am so fucked

 **[18:50] brokuto  
** u r so fucked


	6. Chapter 6

Friday

 **[19:02] Me  
** I lied, I'm not feeling "under the weather".  
I promised Kuroo we'd talk tonight.

 **[19:03] Yamaguchi**  
Tsukki I literally JUST walked out the door, you couldn't say this to my face why…?  
And honestly. Good. Stay home and have phone sex with him. I'm rooting for you!  
And, yes, I am aware you just rolled your eyes.  
(Driving)

 **[19:03] Me**  
I am NOT having phone sex with him so you can give up on living vicariously through me.  
And why, why God why, are you "rooting" for me?

 **[19:21] Yamaguchi  
** Because it's KUROO TETSUROU and you need to get laid.

 **[19:21] Me  
** Stop saying his name like that!

 **[19:22] Yamaguchi  
** Text him. Text him now. Text him. Text him. Text him.

 **[19:22] Me  
** You suck.

 **[19:23] Short and Loud  
** yeah he does ;P like a pro

 **[19:23] Me  
** Get control of your shrimp boyfriend before I put hair removal cream in the shampoo he obnoxiously refuses to take out of our shower.

 **[19:24] Yamaguchi**  
Sorry Tsukki! (Text KUROO TETSUROU right now and tell me how it goes :D)

 **[19:24] Me**  
I am. Stop.

* * *

 **[19:25] Me  
** Are you doing anything tonight? Or are you studying more?

 **[19:29] Kuroo  
** nah fri night is time 4 rest  
probs gunna netflix n chill with ken  
u?

 **[19:30] Me  
** Nope, nothing. I was supposed to be going over to Hinata's with Yamaguchi and have a games night with some old school friends but I didn't go because I can't be fucked.  
Well, mostly because there is an intense shithead I would do mostly anything to avoid.  
Also I will probably be languidly reviewing things for this group project.

 **[19:32] Kuroo  
** omg right u and akaashi in the same class n workin on the same project  
whats up with that  
i mean i knew he was studyin education and u r but didnt even occur to me  
like  
BIG city multi unis n u go to mine? study the same as my friend  
small fkn world srsly  
(is it weird that i find u using 'languidly' sexy? also kinda wanna hear u say it rn)

 **[19:32] Me  
** Indeed a small world.  
Also I've grown accustomed to decoding your ridiculous made up language, used to take me a while to understand some things but now I speak fluent monkey-attempting-to-message-like-a-human.  
(It's a little weird)

 **[19:33] Kuroo**  
aww ur gettin used to my crazy  
so cute (・∀・)  
dont get used to the hyper tho im rly not like it irl  
i just sorta txt like this  
espc when theres a cute guy im excited to talk to  
im much more chill irl  
(i love when u talk all educated 2 me)

 **[19:38] Me  
** I'll believe the "chill" when I see it.  
(So anytime I say anything then?)

 **[19:38] Kuroo  
** u wanna see me?! :DDDDDDD  
(ohohoho u cocky sonbitch u think ur so smart)  
(but its warranted, tsukki is smart)

 **[19:39] Me  
** I wouldn't say no.

 **[19:41] Kuroo  
** patience young padawan gettin to know u like this first  
soon tho probs wont be able to hold out longer than 2 weeks  
if that

 **[19:42] Me  
** I'm curious about this "getting to know me like this" thing. Not that it bothers me. But why?  
Is there a specific reason? It kind of feels like there is a specific reason.

 **[19:44] Kuroo**  
there were a couple guys in the past…

 **[19:44] Me**  
I figured as much. Go on.

 **[19:46] Kuroo**  
its not exactly something i wanna disclose to an innocent lil cutie like u that im tryin to know  
itll scare u away tsukki (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄  
n i dont want u gone

 **[19:47] Me**  
And if I promise that whatever it is I accept it and don't let it affect how I see you?  
Also I'm already imagining it being bad things.

 **[19:52] Kuroo**  
ummmm :(  
ok tsukki plz dont judge me ur opinion of me is important but i trust u  
in the past things have been far too physical far too early  
clearly im a fairly intense persn when it comes to relationships but im also rly um romantic  
i have romantic notions about what a relationship should be and as u probs know many ppl our age tend not to share the same ideas  
problm is i get way too caught up in the physical (due to said intensity) and then for some idiotic reason am surprised when its obvs only a physical thing to the other dude  
i know im young n shouldnt be settling (or so society tells me "enjoy ur youth" right?) but i kinda wanna settle  
i mean not rn like this second but as soon as i meet the right person  
and not like house and kids as soon as i meet them but like long steady relationship… thats what i want  
which as ur the person im interested in probs sounds heaps daunting and im sorry for that  
but thats the reason i like this, our talkin and not seein (becoz damn ur hot n i want u but i also want to be with u)  
sorry if thats overwhelming… (๑•́ω•̀๑)

 **[19:56] Me**  
I'm sorry you had those experiences Kuroo.  
There is nothing you "should" or "shouldn't" do, no one can tell you how to live your life.  
If you want to settle, if that's what will make you happy, then you should be proud of that.  
Though in knowing you (as little as I do) I know that you probably are proud of that and it's just a sense of nervousness in telling me specifically.  
It's not overwhelming.  
Is it weird that after less than a week of knowing you that I don't find that confession overwhelming?

 **[19:58] Kuroo  
** TSUKKIIIIIIIIIIII!  
jesus fuck  
i literally just held my breath waiting for ur message, 4 minutes, my lungs hurt  
but u heal everything 333  
ok i dont wanna get too real with u rn but ur beautiful and thank u srsly  
but lets not rn bcoz im too happy and kens staring at me like im fuckin stupid  
u make me stupid tsukki  
shit  
ok shit stop

 **[20:00] Me  
** What are you watching on Netflix?

 **[20:00] Kuroo  
** and u change the subject to save me from my stupidity ( ω )  
u r a damn angel tsukki fml  
we cant decide between sense8 and jessica jones

 **[20:01] Me**  
You haven't watched Sense8 yet?!  
Okay Jessica Jones is very good, very very good and I definitely 10/10 recommend.  
But Sense8 is a CINEMATIC MASTERPEICE and literal 11/10. Must watch.

 **[20:02] Kuroo  
** yeh ken was sayin sense8 but i was pushin jj becoz marvel  
ok ur the tie breaker and ken says thank u for "changing my ignorant mind"  
i think hes startin to like u more than me alredy

 **[20:02] Me  
** You NEED to PAY ATTENTION. Put your phone down and watch.  
I'm not responding for your own good. I need to eat and do some reading anyway. Enjoy!

 **[20:03] Kuroo  
** yes dear  
ur goin to be a bossy wifey  
i like it ^_^

* * *

 **[20:34] Me  
** Save me.

 **[20:39] Yamaguchi  
** What happened?!

 **[20:42] Me  
** He's… Um…  
DO NOT SHOW THIS TO ANYONE ELSE, NOT EVEN HINATA, I SWEAR TADASHI.  
This is serious.  
 _Sending image file…  
Image sent._

 **[20:45] Yamaguchi  
** Oh… Oh my God. Poor Kuroo-san :(  
He's perfect. Someone this perfect shouldn't exist. You realise this is perfection right? Especially for you.  
I mean you've never been a dating or sleeping around type of person.  
You're a serious relationship person Tsukki! OMG.

 **[20:46] Me  
** Delete it now. And I know. I'm kind of sitting on the balcony staring out at nothing.  
Yamaguchi I can't do this. I'll hurt him. I don't want to hurt him. He's perfect and I'm…

 **[20:46] Yamaguchi  
** Tsukki! Don't you DARE doubt yourself on this!  
Please please please please do NOT do what I think you're going to do.  
Don't you dare push him away because you're afraid!

 **[20:50] Me**  
It's what I do.

 **[20:50] Yamaguchi  
** NO. NO NO NO NO NO.  
Tsukki listen to me. You won't hurt him. You're perfect for each other.  
That's even one of the things I was thinking when I met him a few times (BEFORE YOU EVEN KNEW EACH OTHER) and we were talking about Akiteru because he's a detective and Kuroo-san's studying law. Kuroo even asked about you then (possibly because I ramble a little) but I knew it then and I know it for sure now.

 **[21:14] Yamaguchi  
** TSUKKI.

 **[21:16] Yamaguchi  
** _Incoming call…  
Call failed to connect._

 **[21:17] Yamaguchi  
** DO NOT MAKE ME COME HOME. SUGAWARA-SAN AND I WILL BE VERY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU IF YOU DO NOT ANSWER YOUR PHONE RIGHT NOW TSUKISHIMA KEI.

 **[21:25] Yamaguchi**  
 _Incoming call…  
Call failed to connect._

 **[21:28] Yamaguchi  
** Answer your phone. Tsukki. Please just talk to me.  
Please don't get caught in your own negative thoughts.

 **[21:49] Yamaguchi**  
Tsukki please.

* * *

 **[23:57] Kuroo**  
IF U HAD HAVE TOLD ME THERE ARE HOT HISPANIC GAY GUYS U WOULD HAVE SOLD SENSE8 SOOO MUCH SOONER  
even ken said theyre hot n he never says things like that

 **[00:15] Kuroo**  
tsukki?  
u fall asleep with ur face in a book?

 **[00:36] Kuroo  
** must have  
sleep well tsukki 3


	7. Chapter 7

Saturday

 **[12:29] me  
** ok so me and ken go up early this mornin (completely unplanned) and started watchin more sense8 becoz we r so gone for it  
srsly fkn amazing  
then ken had to leave T_T becoz hes lame  
i want to marry Will

 **[17:02] me  
** r u busy today tsukki?

 **[17:34] tsukki~~  
** Yes. Quite busy sorry. Will talk later.

 **[17:35] me  
** no worries ^_^ have a nice evening tsukki!

* * *

Sunday

 **[10:12] Unknown Number  
** Hello Kuroo-san! This is Yamaguchi, Hinata's boyfriend and Tsukki's best friend.  
I got your phone number from Hinata I hope you don't mind.  
I was wondering if you were busy this morning.

 **[10:19] me  
** ofc i remember u! ur too adorable to forget  
and ofc i dont mind!  
r u asking me out freckles…? :O

 **[10:20] freckles  
** Oh no! I was just hoping that you could give Tsukki a call.

 **[10:20] me  
** ….what?  
tsukki? why?  
IS HE OK?!

 **[10:23] freckles**  
Ahh yes, physically he's fine. Don't panic too much Kuroo-san!  
I'm just a bit worried about him.

 **[10:23] me  
** what do u mean 'physically'  
thats oddly specific, is he not mentally ok?  
why r u worried  
ur worrying ME

 **[10:27] freckles**  
Um. Okay. I shouldn't say this but he's given me no choice. It's for his own good.  
Tsukki is insecure. I know you haven't met him but it's very difficult to tell on the outside and I can only assume he keeps up that front via message.  
Don't be mad at him (he was only looking for support, I hope you understand) but he sent me a screenshot of that message you sent about wanting to settle. It made him worry.  
BUT NOT IN THE WAY YOU THINK.  
He's concerned about hurting you… I think he believes he isn't good enough for you.  
I'm really sorry about how much I know but he's my best friend and I've known him since we were kids and I'm really worried.  
I think you could be good for him and I don't want him to just push you away because he's scared.  
Sorry again.

 **[10:28] me**  
its ok dont apologise so much! i understand id be the same with kenma  
im going to call him rn  
thank u for tellin me freckles 3

 **[10:29] freckles**  
Please be careful Kuroo-san. He's not as harsh as he seems.  
Thank you for understanding.

* * *

 **[10:31] Me**  
 _Incoming call…  
Call connected._

"… Hello?"

"Were you asleep?"

"No… Yes. Who is this…?"

"Kuroo Tetsurou."

"…"

"Good morning sunshine. Shit your voice is unbelievably sexy when it's all gravelly with sleep Tsukki."

"Uhhh. Wha—What are you-? Why did you call?"

"Concern."

"Um… Concern for what?"

"Concern for you."

"Shit… Yamaguchi contacted you didn't he? I'm going to fucking kill him."

"Okay sexy gravelly voice also makes death threats sound very real. Tsukki, he's just worried about you and from what he told me so am I. I didn't mean to push all that stuff on you. I didn't want to but I needed to explain why I wanted to keep it this way. At least for a little while… You hurting me is literally the last thing I'm worried about. Also there is no way in hell I'm too good for you."

"Jesus… Kuroo, I-"

"No, Tsukki, listen. I realise I come on strong but I'm not pushing you towards anything. I want you to want this because I've had enough of trying to make people want the things I want. It's exhausting. I don't know where this insecurity comes from but I do know that you deserve better than to think so little of yourself. We've barely been talking for a week, but your friends with my friends and they _love_ you and I'm friends with yours and we've spoken a _lot_ and I just feel like I've known you forever. Which is such a fucking cliché but so fucking true. You're so much better than you think you are. I think you're worth it Tsukki and that's all that should matter right?"

"…"

"…Tsukki?"

"…I do want the things you want."

"Okay, good. Because I like you. Which is also really dumb but whatever. Shit happens right?"

"I like your voice Kuroo."

"Shit dude, do _not_ use that fucking voice on me, it's a damn weapon. You should come with a warning label like Gizmo. 'Do not speak to Tsukishima Kei in the mornings, you will get an instant hard on'. "

"I like your laugh too."

" _Tsukki!_ "

"Fine, sorry. I'm sleepy and my brain is struggling to focus on greater concepts other than you sound good."

"Well, as sweet as that is, did you listen to and understand what I said?"

"Yes Kuroo."

"Good boy. Why are you still asleep?"

"Mm, haven't been sleeping very well."

"Damn, I'm sorry. I feel so guilty for telling you all that stuff and freaking you out."

"Not your fault. I'm glad you told me."

"… Okay. Do you need to sleep more Tsukki?"

"Mmmm sleep…"

"I'll take that as a yes. Text me when you wake up."

"Mm Kuroo. M'sorry."

"It's okay Tsukki. Sleep."

 **[10:39] Me  
** _Call disconnected._

* * *

 **[13:45] Me  
** Did I talk to you this morning…?

 **[13:45] Kuroo  
** plz tell me ur fuckin with me rn

 **[13:46] Me  
** Okay… I'm fucking with you.

 **[13:46] Kuroo  
** NOW PLZ TELL ME UR STILL FUCKIN WITH ME  
u do remember what we spoke about right?!  
srs kei, tell me, rn, tell me

 **[13:46] Me  
** :D

 **[13:47] Kuroo  
** ur an arse

 **[13:47] Me  
** Told you.

 **[13:47] Kuroo  
** so u remember what i said n we're all good?

 **[13:49] Me  
** We're better than good.  
I'm sorry for freaking out on you.  
Your voice is amazing.

 **[13:51] Kuroo  
** ok now ur hittin on me and i don't even know what to even  
r u ok  
did u bump ur head  
take drugs  
went back to that underground fight club (and not invite me?!)

 **[13:51] Me  
** Ha, now you know how I feel.

 **[13:54] Kuroo  
** u have power over me tsukki  
i never thought ud be the type to abuse it .·´¯`(-▂-)´¯`·.

 **[13:55] Me  
** Clearly you have a lot to learn about me.

 **[13:55] Kuroo  
** shit stop tsukkkkiiii  
everything u say sounds so suggestive  
r u actually flirting i don't know u well enough to be able to tell over txt

 **[13:56] Me  
** Yes.

 **[13:56] Kuroo  
** ok i have swimming practise in like 4 mins D:  
but why r u flirting  
not that im complainin, like defs the opposite  
but what changed  
i know uve been accepting my flirting since fri but u still haven't been flirting back til now

 **[13:59] Me  
** You just seem more real now.  
Not just because of the call, though that was probably the last big push towards, um, wanting this.  
But in meeting your friends and listening to you rant so passionately about me doing what I love doing  
and listening to you talk about the reason you love law  
and listening to you talk about what you've been through with relationships and what you want from your next one.  
I guess I've gotten to the point that I realised I like you…  
And I think that's part of the reason I went missing yesterday.  
I did a LOT of thinking. So much so I struggled to concentrate on study and sleep.

 **[13:59] Kuroo**  
omfg worst timing ever to be the cutest lil shit that evr existed  
ill respond proper later

 **[16:32] Kuroo**  
that is the first time you said you like me and i will cherish it forever ( ω )  
tsukkkkiiii 3  
that was so sweet ur so freaking sweet  
i love that those r the things that made u like me  
oh god how r u this perfect  
how did this happen how did we meet again

 **[16:38] Me**  
Technically we haven't met yet.  
And thank you.

 **[16:39] Kuroo  
** u blushing tsukki?! i can tell u go all quiet with short responses  
so cute ^_^ i cant wait to see ur cute blushing!  
i wonder if we would have met without the accidental butt pic (which is still my most treasured possession) :P  
i mean its highly likely right u know both KEN AND AKAASHI  
i wonder if we would have liked each other

 **[16:41] Me  
** The likelihood that we would have met anyway was pretty high.  
Hinata's pretty obsessed with Kenma and Yamaguchi always drags me places with them.  
You may have come home one day to me in your living room.  
And clearly we would have been attracted to each other.

 **[16:44] Kuroo  
** come home to u in my living room and ravish u u mean o(*ω*)o  
i think i prefer it like this tho (as much as i wanna touch u rn)  
i mean i know NOW ur not shallow like previous dicks were  
ive been pre hesitant when meeting anyone over the last few months becoz of things that happened  
mayb i wouldnt have trusted u like i do like this  
who knows¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **[16:45] Me  
** Not really much point contemplating it. We are where we are.  
Though I'm not the most socially appealing person which would have made you less likely to like me.

 **[16:48] Kuroo  
** right bokuto told me ur like akaashi  
good thing bout me and my bro for guys like u and akaashi, we tend to plow right thru that cold quiet intimidating façade without much of a care lol  
ur so pretty i would have done (will do) just about anything to get in  
fuck that sounds horrible =/  
i dont JUST mean bone u i mean get to kno u and learn how perf u r 3

 **[16:48] Me  
** I know what you mean and it's sweet even though you somehow managed to make it one of the crudest things I've ever heard.  
Akaashi and Bokuto do seem like an odd pair but I see what you mean.  
It's nice, to know that they understand each other and balance each other like that.

 **[16:49] Kuroo**  
tsukki ima understand u like that and u balance me  
far less extremely than them though i think  
im not bokuto  
i love him like a bro but god knows we dont need another one of him

 **[16:49] Me  
** Hinata.

 **[16:50] Kuroo  
** fair point  
omg I remember when boku met aka and i acted like my fckn bro had died  
i was such a shithead 2 years ago

 **[16:51] Me**  
Your "party boi" phase?

 **[16:54] Kuroo**  
fuck ye  
the end of it tho thank god  
bless akaashi and his angelism  
i mean it was fun but for someone who wants to be a fkn lawyer a lot of it was downright stupid  
borderline illegal shiz that could have had me never see a courtroom  
just dumb  
but i hated akaashi  
i mean hes beautiful and i wanted to fuck him (bokuto calld dibs) but god i hated him

 **[16:54] Me  
** Well, of course, he threatened your important party boi lifestyle.  
He stole your best bro and wingman, taking away what you held most dear, your fun times.

 **[16:55] Kuroo  
** ugh tsukki u just get me even my dickhead delinquent self lol :D  
i was so pissed off u have no idea  
i wanted to murder him  
and now i love him like family and want them to be happy together 4ever

 **[16:57] Me  
** I do actually have an idea of how that feels.  
Hinata stole my best friend from me four years ago, or at least that's how my idiotic 17 year old self saw it.  
I reacted much the same. I was like a petulant child that had had their favourite toy taken away.  
Still embarrassing to think about.  
I don't love Hinata (he's no Akaashi) but he makes Yamaguchi happy and that's all that matters.

 **[17:00] Kuroo  
** yeh their happiness comes first 3  
and then a couple months after them being vomit worthy cute i started to watch them wistfully instead of disgustedly  
i want what they have so bad  
they're so comfortable with each other u kno  
freckles n shrimp been together 4 years? nice  
bokuaka just had their 2 yr anivers but they live together and r practically married lol  
theyre so cute  
tsukkkkiiiii  
i want it  
i want love and happiness 3333

 **[17:02] Me  
** You'll get it Kuroo. Your too kind and caring and together not to.  
Anyone would be lucky to have you.

 **[17:03] Kuroo**  
TSUKKIIIII OMG  
⁄(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄  
how can u just say that  
lol i say that but u probs retyped a million times out of embarrassment  
i would have  
ur so beautiful tsukki u say such beautiful things that i dont deserve

 **[17:06] Me  
** It wasn't anything special. And you do deserve them.  
Also you say far more embarrassing things all the time.

 **[17:07] Kuroo  
** omg that took u so long to respond  
ur so red rn :D  
ok lets stop embarrassing the fuck outta each other  
i dont think i can deal with anymore of ur cuteness mr  
i have lots of study to do tonite important lawyer shiz  
ill talk to u tomorrow because ur super distracting

 **[17:09] Me  
** Okay. I should probably be focussing too.  
We should talk again soon. Like a phone call talk.

 **[17:10] Kuroo  
** uhu u rly like my voice hey tsukki :P  
we should defs do that but not when uve just woken up because the sound of ur gruff fucked out sleep voice was like blood straight to my dick  
gl with study and tlk later bby 3

 **[17:10] Me  
** I really do like your voice.  
I'm pretty busy tomorrow but I will respond when I can.  
Good luck with the lawyering Tetsurou :)


	8. Chapter 8

Monday

 **[14:55] Kuroo  
** ok we need to realtalk less and sext more  
i cant stop staring at this pic of u  
of u and shrimpy, u have this like pout on because clearly he did something annoying  
omfg its so sexy  
between that and ur arse i pre much just flat out want u rn  
also bcoz u called me tetsurou yesterday and ive been able to hold my excitement in this long  
but i cant anymore  
it was tooooo cute

 **[15:04] Kuroo  
** but u so busy today :(  
damn ur hot heavenly arse to hell  
its just sitting there all firmly clad in dino print taunting me

 **[15:16] Me**  
I didn't realise my arse had that ability.

 **[15:17] Kuroo**  
it does its fkn magical tsukki  
does all kinds of bad things to me

 **[15:19] Me  
** So on a scale of 1 to 10 how horny are you?  
Because this isn't a subtle way to start a conversation.

 **[15:19] Kuroo**  
11

 **[15:21] Me  
** Wow, you're fucked.

 **[15:21] Kuroo  
** no tsukki im not  
that is exactly my problem

 **[15:21] Me  
** Are you sulking…?

 **[15:22] Kuroo**  
mayb

 **[15:22] Me**  
Okay this is pretty cute. Does it really affect you this badly?

 **[15:24] Kuroo**  
im a rather sexual person tsukki its srs bzns and affects me bad  
ken gets all annoyed at me and locks himself in his room  
bokuto just laughs and laughs bcoz its appaz fkn hilarious  
and he ofc doesnt get it bcoz he has akaashi to just blow his horniness away  
and then i get shitty at him and lock myself in my room  
its all very dramatic  
point is i need u

 **[15:25] Me**  
What do you usually do when you don't have anyone?

 **[15:28] Kuroo  
** angrily fuck my own hand  
or find someone  
but not so much anymore with the latter  
diseases and grossness (not that i have any, more that i dont want any obv)  
this is why i need someone to love me and put up with my bull  
i know i seem like a big bag of rainbows most of the time but i get so antsy tsukki  
horngry (like hungry angry except horny)  
save me

 **[15:29] Me  
** I would, um, help you if I could but I have a class soonish and it goes late and then I have dinner later with my friends.  
You chose a really terrible time to be "horngry".

 **[15:30] Kuroo  
** O.O help me how

 **[15:30] Me  
** Kuroo I cannot sext you right now.  
I'm in a very public place and I'm probably not very good at it.

 **[15:32] Kuroo  
** uve never sexted before?  
its easy tsukki  
just like dirty talk  
uve had sex yes?

 **[15:36] Me  
** I'm antisocial NOT a leper. So yes, I have had sex.  
But I'm not exactly very vocal with the "dirty talk".  
And I'm not talking about this now!

 **[15:38] Kuroo  
** TSUKKKIIIIIII  
plzzzzzzz

 **[15:45] Me**  
Oh my God you really do get needy.  
There is really nothing I can do Kuroo. I'm sorry.

 **[15:46] Kuroo  
** fine! ill just go pleasure myself without u  
hope u kno what ur missing  
hope ur happy  
p.s. not really pissed at u, ur perf, im just horngry  
talk latr tsukki and have fun with ur friends xo

* * *

 **[21:34] Kuroo  
** _Incoming image file…  
File received._

 **[21:39] Me  
** You did NOT just do that!  
I am literally sitting at a table, at a restaurant, surrounded by friends and I HAVE A PICTURE OF YOU HALF NAKED ON MY PHONE SCREEN.  
WHY?  
P.S. You are so fucking lucky my overly enthusiastic and nosey not-friends didn't sneak a peek at my phone like they usually do.

 **[21:44] Kuroo  
** _Incoming image file…_

 **[21:44] Me  
** NO!

 **[21:44] Kuroo  
** _File received._

 **[21:44] Me  
** Fuck. Kuroo. Stop.

 **[21:45] Kuroo  
** when r u getting home tsukki? :)

 **[21:47] Me  
** Do NOT just ask me that all casual like you didn't just send me two extremely hot barely clothed pictures of yourself with a hard on!  
I'm on my way home now. So, ten minutes.

 **[21:47] Kuroo  
** good bcoz im in desperate need of ur services :P

 **[21:48] Me  
** Why cant u just watch porn like a normal person?

 **[21:48] Kuroo  
** ur so much better than porn tsukki 3

 **[21:48] Me  
** Thank you…? I guess.  
Also I'd like to point out that you don't actually know that for a fact.  
I could be really terrible.

 **[21:49] Kuroo  
** u said COULD be which means u dont think u r  
with an arse and voice like that i somehow doubt it  
also i could literally just pound into ur arse when ur unconscious and be satisfied  
i wouldnt becoz ur participation would make it sooooooooo much better but u get my point  
and ur pretty mouth…. UGH so hungry for ur mouth tsukki

 **[21:49] Me  
** Who the fuck says you're topping?

 **[21:50] Kuroo  
** O.O ….. omfg  
dom tsukkiiiiii yessssss 333333  
plz fuck me tsukki  
i need u inside me  
also less txt more gettin home to talk me into orgasm plzkthx

 **[21:52] Me  
** Yamaguchi's driving and dropping me off at home before going over to Hinata's.  
He's staring at me because my face is probably bright fucking red and I'm half hard (thank you SO much).  
Not that he can discern the latter. Probably.  
He's not asking either, he's just not so subtly glancing at me with this creepy smile.  
I hate you so much.

 **[21:52] Kuroo  
** aww im sorry am i embarrassing u  
what if i talk about how much i want ur tongue in my mouth  
how much i want ur mouth and hands all over my body  
how much i want ur big beautiful dick inside me  
how much i need u to fuck me into my mattress

 **[21:52] Me  
** I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU. STOP.

 **[21:53] Kuroo  
** plz tsukki i need u so bad  
 _Incoming image file…  
File received._

 **[21:53] Me  
** OHMYFUCKINGGOD that is your dick!  
That's it. I'm not looking at my phone until I get home.

 **[21:53] Kuroo  
** omg how looong  
plz tell me soon  
plz  
plz

 **[21:55] Kuroo  
** TSUUUUKKKKIIII  
be home now  
im srry i just  
this is ur fault for flirting with me  
u like talked me into heat or something  
fuck im ridiculous  
fuck i cant bring myself to care rn

 **[21:56] Kuroo  
** _Incoming call…  
Call failed to connect._

 **[21:57] Kuroo  
** tsukki im sorry  
plz answer

 **[21:58] Kuroo  
** _Incoming call…  
Call connected._

"…"

"…Hello? Tsukki?"

"Tch, Kuroo, what the fuck is wrong with you?"

"I have a high sex drive, sue me."

"Sue yourself and go fuck yourself while you're at it. It might help."

"I'd really rather you fuck me instead, Kei."

" _Fuck_ … I'm still outside my apartment please don't fucking purr at me like that."

"That's rich, your voice is practically orgasmic. Can you do me a favour?"

"Depends."

"Can you please call me Tetsurou again? I want to hear you _say_ it…"

"Tetsurou, for the love of _God_ be patient or so help me I am going to hang up this phone and turn the damn thing off for the rest of the night."

"Oh sweet mother of fuck, Kei, you're so hot when your all commanding. I promise though, I promise I'll be a good boy until you get into your apartment and then all bets are off. How long?"

"I'm climbing up the stairs now. Do you really have no patience?"

"Tsukki I am so fucking _hard_ for you right now. And not for the first time today. It's your fault, you're too sexy."

"… J-Just wait. Do you have any idea how uncomfortable it is climbing stairs hard? I didn't until now; so thank you for that. Definitely something I had to experience in my life."

"Ugh, I'm so sorry Tsukki, I'm really fucking hopeless."

"I won't argue that."

"Just please tell me I'm not being a pushy fuck and that you want this too. I mean, don't tell me because I want you too… Like, shit. Tell me if you _don't_ want this… Annnnd you're laughing."

"It's okay Tetsurou, I want this."

"Okay, _fuck_ , the way you say my name…"

"…"

"…"

"I'm in my room."

"Oh thank fuck. Please tell me you're taking your clothes off."

"Unsurprisingly difficult to do while holding a phone… Wait…"

"And you put the phone down… Why wouldn't you put it on speaker? Then I could hear you getting naked. God that would be nice. No, seeing would be better. And I'm talking to myself…"

"… Tetsurou, are you touching yourself?"

" _Mmmmm_ , yes, thinking about you stripping for me. Tsukki doing a little strip tease for me. Please tell me you're completely naked. I really need that arse to be bare in the world."

 **[22:04] Me  
** _Sending image file…  
Image sent.  
Sending image file…  
Image sent._

"Holy fuck! Your dick is more beautiful than I imagined. Your skin is so pale and looks so soft. I want to fucking _bite_ your thighs… Kei it's really not fair for you to send a pic and do this to me when I'm already so far ahead of you."

"As opposed to sending me half naked pictures when I'm out to dinner with friends. Continuously. When you knew where I was."

"Did you like them?"

"Yes… Your body is amazing Tetsurou, I was fighting a boner at the damn table."

"Sh- _Shit_ … _Ah-_ Are you stroking yourself for me Kei? You're home alone right? B-Because I don't want you to keep the sounds in, I want to hear all the wonderfully depraved noises that come out of your pretty mouth."

"Mm, yeah, home alone and catching up quickly listening to you talk. Tell me, Tetsurou, what would you do to me if I were there right now?"

"Hm- _mmm_ , so much choice. Right now though, I feel like I really need to be _fucked_ senseless. Hard. Fast. I need you to be rough. To bite and grip and pound into me until I'm screaming your name and can't walk straight for a week. I need you to fucking destroy me in the most delicious way possible. Do you think you can do that for me Kei?"

"Oh _fuck_ yes… T-Tetsurou. I want you _so_ much."

"Fuck… Kei… I'm so fucking close, your voice is so fucking _hot_. You're fucking p-panting in my ear and I just cannot h-handle it…"

"I-I've been thinking about you so much Tetsu. You h-have no idea how much I want to meet you and touch you and k-kiss you and just feel you. God, just, your entire fucking _perfect_ body, I want to lick and s-suck and bite every inch of your skin. _Ah_ fuck… Tet-Testu."

" _Ahh_ —Are you imagining me doing it for you? St-Stroking you until you're desperately panting for air and your face is a beautiful shade of pink. I would… I would fucking swallow you _whole_. I want you inside me Kei. _Fuck_... I want you!"

" _Uhh_ , so… _so_ good! Tetsu!"

"I… _Shit_ , K-Kei… I-I'm _really_ … close… so close…"

"Mmm- _ha_! I'm… Me t-too… Tetsu… Tetsu!"

"Kei… Kei… _Come_ for me, p-please Kei… _Kei_!"

"Fuc- _aah…haa…"_

"…"

"…"

"Shit. Wow… Okay. Fuck sorry, I rushed a little. I've been hard for a while."

"It's… It's okay. I… Fuck. Your voice is amazing Tetsurou."

"Thanks… Shit. I feel really guilty."

"Why?"

"Because I was so pushy! Like all fucking day. And now that it's out of my system I just feel like a jerk. You must think I'm like some crazy sex maniac. I'm not I promise I just sometimes have these-"

"Kuroo, stop, calm down. I don't think that at all. That was… really good. I haven't, um, done anything with anyone for a while. So I haven't really had any sex drive for the better part of a year. It was really nice. Also I already said you weren't being pushy."

"A year? Are you serious?"

"Mm, I've just been really busy with uni and well, I'm kind of introverted. I don't really go out a whole lot and I'm probably fairly intimidating to approach and I don't approach people… I've never been into that whole 'dating' thing."

"Kinda wish I'd been like that, would have saved me a lot of… Well, you know, I told you. But honestly, your fine arse needs daily worshipping. It's truly a tragedy it isn't getting the attention it deserves."

"It's not that good."

"Oh Tsukki, sweet naïve little Tsukki. You have one of the best arses I have ever seen. And I've seen many in my 'party boi' days."

"Well then… You better get to work worshipping my 'fine arse' Tetsu."

"… Shit. I really like you Kei."

"Mm, I like you too."

"I have to go though. Class early in the morning. So annoying!"

"Can I demand a phone call that isn't phone sex or me being half asleep sometime in the future?"

"Ha! Needy much. Yeah, sure thing cutie, I'd really like that. Night Tsukki!"

"Goodnight Tetsurou."

 **[22:31] Me  
** _Call disconnected._

 **[22:32] Tetsurou**  
sighhhh now i have to clean the mess u made me make  
 _Incoming image file…  
Image received._

 **[22:32] Me  
** Really? Did you HAVE to do that?

 **[22:34] Tetsurou  
** just showin u the affect u have on me  
u ruin me tsukishima kei 3

 **[22:34] Me  
** How can you go from sending the grossest picture I have ever seen to being sweet…?  
It's disturbing.

 **[22:35] Tetsurou**  
im just that good ^_^

 **[22:36] Me  
** You're alright, I guess.

 **[22:39] Tetsurou  
** yaaaas half compliments from tsukki before bed r the bessst  
nn my moon prince xoxox

 **[22:40] Me**  
Sleep well Tetsurou.


	9. Chapter 9

Tuesday

 **[11:03] Tetsurou**  
ok so last night happened rite

 **[11:08] Me  
** Yes…

 **[11:10] Tetsurou  
** fuk im so sorry tsukki  
i was kinda hoping it was a dream (a rly good one)  
i can only imagine what u think  
i kno u said ur fine with it and u enjoyed it but mayb u just saying that to not offend me  
plz dont get scared of me  
tell me if it wasnt ok im a big boy i can take it

 **[11:11] Me  
** You're acting like I'm a woman and we had unprotected sex and now you're worried that I'll run away with your unborn child.  
It was JUST phone sex Tetsurou.  
Also I am 110% NOT afraid of offending you. Sometimes I'm rather happy to offend you.

 **[11:13] Tetsurou  
** but u havent had sex in like a year ur practically virginal  
it must have been rly scary (●´⌓`●)

 **[11:13] Me  
** …  
Shut the fuck up.

 **[11:15] Tetsurou  
** ahahahaha (≧∇≦)/ u so cute bein all revirginalised  
its ok tsukki ill go easy on u  
have to protect that precious arse

 **[11:15] Me  
** Go die.

 **[11:15] Tetsurou  
** :O but im assigned to arse worshippin duty!

 **[11:16] Me  
** Your services are no longer needed.

 **[11:16] Tetsurou**  
U WOUND ME TSUKKI! (╯︵╰,)  
im crying

 **[11:16] Me  
** Good.

 **[11:19] Tetsurou  
** lol but in all srsness ur all good with what happened?  
i don't rly ever get like that  
only once a month (like a sex werewolf :P) if im single  
and also u have a fairly profound effect on me tsukki  
more than i imagined

 **[11:20] Me  
** I've experienced similar things in the past, so I understand. I'm just less… vocal about it.  
And yes, for the millionth time, I'm fine with what happened. More than fine with it.

 **[11:22] Tetsurou  
** good good ^_^  
n u can be vocal with me  
i like it  
beg for me tsukki

 **[11:23] Me  
** Only if you're lucky.

 **[11:26] Tetsurou  
** thats it i need to start collectin 4leaf clover n rabbit foots!  
also do u rly top?  
ive so rarely been topped bcoz im so big  
in every sense of the word :P  
although u look bigger dick wise… hard (ha!) to tell in pics tho

 **[11:29] Me**  
I'm really tall, much taller and bigger than any partner I've ever had.  
I've bottomed before but it was rather awkward.

 **[11:30] Tetsurou  
** :O how tall r u  
i mean ive seen u next to shrimp n freckles but hard to tell in perspective

 **[11:30] Me  
** 194cm

 **[11:30] Tetsurou  
** …OMFG srsly?  
that is so HOT σ(≧ε≦ｏ)  
ur taller than me!  
ive never met anyone taller than me  
ok 1 guy but hes russian so doesnt count (also would NEVER fuck him!)

 **[11:32] Me  
** Thank you? I didn't know height was "hot".  
Why, how tall are you?

 **[11:33] Tetsurou  
** 189cm  
its soooo hot  
a lot of ppl like height difference (aka freckles and shrimp) i dont tho personally  
but fukkk someone thats taller than me aka can comfortably fuck me… YESSSS!  
i rly dont think u could get more perf babe 3

 **[11:33] Me  
** You're much more solidly built than me though. I'm fairly gangly.

 **[11:34] Tetsurou  
** perf 3  
annnnd i can practically see u roll ur eyes ^_^

 **[11:36] Me  
** If you say so.  
Out for lunch with Yamaguchi. Talk later.

 **[11:36] Tetsurou  
** give freckles a kiss for me!  
xoxoxoxo have fun bby

* * *

Wednesday

 **[02:47] Tetsurou**  
i can't sleep  
plz help me tsukki  
i need ur moon magic to help me sleep  
i need ur warmth and ur body

 **[02:50] Tetsurou**  
i wonder what sleepin with u is like  
i mean actual sleepin, not sex, sex is obv gunna be amazing  
ur very limb-y, like long arms n legs, u said gangly  
i wonder if thats good or bad  
like whether itd be comfortable to be tangled in or annoyin  
only 1 way to find out :D

 **[02:58] Tetsurou  
** this suxxxx  
wtf whyyy cant i sleep  
sleeeeeeeeep  
tsukki its not workin

 **[02:59] Me  
** So you decided waking me up was a good idea?  
Think again. You are so fucking dead!

 **[03:01] Tetsurou  
** worth it to see ur beautiful typing 3  
i dont wanna suffer alone!

 **[03:03] Me  
** Well congratulations you're going to die so you won't be suffering long.  
I'm going back to sleep fuck you very much.

 **[03:04] Tetsurou  
** nooooooooooooo  
dont leave me!  
u traitor!

 **[03:12] Me**  
YOU KNOW WHAT FUCK YOU  
NOW I CANT SLEEP

 **[03:12] Tetsurou  
** mwahahahaahahahaha  
my evil plan worked so well :D

 **[03:12] Me  
** Fuck you. Fuck you all.

 **[03:13] Tetsurou  
** how is it that ur grammar remains perfect even if ur makin 0 sense  
and all u can do is say "fuck u"

 **[03:13] Me  
** Fuck you, that's how.

 **[03:13] Tetsurou  
** ohshit u so cute when u grumpy  
i ttlly forgot how cute ur agro is  
can u rly not sleep?

 **[03:14] Me  
** Yes.  
Because fuck you.

 **[03:14] Tetsurou  
** haha okie ima call

 **[03:14] Tetsurou  
** _Incoming call…  
Call connected._

"Fuck you."

"Yeah, I pretty much got that already."

" _Why_ are you laughing? This _isn't_ funny Tetsurou, I'm going to fucking kill you."

"Okay remember what I said about death threats in that sexy sleep voice? Not good babe. Sounds so legit."

"It _is_ legit! I'm murdering you."

"The death threats are also kinda turning me on. That's new. Must just be your voice."

"Ugh."

"I'm sorry Tsukki… I didn't really mean to wake you. I just kinda started automatically texting you in my half asleep state. Texting you has become like second nature… It's cute right? Does that save me?"

"Maybe… What are you going to do to fix this not being able to sleep thing?"

"That sounded more provocative than you probably meant. Um, let's play twenty questions! I feel like we know more deep stuff about each other than basic shit like fave colour and stuff. So, we go back and forth asking questions and not the same one twice."

"That's not how twenty questions works."

"Whatever mister grumpy, there are questions and we answer them. I'll go first. Cats or dogs?"

"Both."

"Such a fence-sitter Tsukki!"

"Well? Neither? I don't know. We never had either growing up. They're both cute I guess and I've met friend's pets, both cats and dogs, and didn't mind either. What about you?"

"Definitely cats, I don't mind dogs but I prefer cats. That doesn't count as your question by the way. I know you're sneakily trying to get out of this."

"Tch, fine. Um, what's your… favourite sport?"

"To watch or do…?"

"Well I already know your swimming so to watch."

"Volleyball. Used to play in high school, it was fun and I was really good!"

"Mm, me too."

"What seriously?"

"It's not uncommon Tetsurou, chill. Next question."

"Okay but I think the most important thing I'm learning from this is that you're so much grouchier when sleepy. It's cute."

"I will punch you."

"Moving right along then… Um, when did you realise you were gay?"

"I thought you said 'basic shit'."

"This is basic. I'm not asking for your entire coming out story Tsukki. Just, like, age."

"S-Seventeen… Maybe sixteen. Beautiful upperclassman at high school I was confusingly attracted to and of course in denial about it. Pretty standard."

"Get with him?"

"Nope, he's way too good for me, a damn angel if I ever did meet one. I still know him _and_ his husband. They're pretty much perfect. You?"

"Naww _you're_ a perfect angel Tsukki!"

"Shut up and answer."

"Those things are contradictory…"

"Your face is contradictory."

"Ha, right. I kinda always knew, I never really looked at girls like that. And I knew for sure when I fell in love with my best friend. Uh… Ken, by the way. But it would never have worked. Especially with my sex drive and him being ace, we're absolutely sexually incompatible. Ken didn't want a relationship, he knew but I was too stupid with teenage hormones to realise that you don't risk friendship that strong, basically brotherly love, on a relationship. Never would have forgiven myself if I had have pushed for it and lost him. I got over it after a couple years."

"Yeah. I don't think I've ever been attracted to Yamaguchi… I mean, I realise he _is_ attractive but never wanted him. Um, anyway, that got deep because you suck at asking questions. Any piercings?"

"Ah, yes actually. I have five."

"Five?!"

"Yes, Tsukki, five. How did you not notice in my pictures?"

"I must have been too caught up on how attractive you were."

"You sweet talker you… Guess where they are."

"Uh… ear?"

"Yes. Two up in my helix."

"I'm going to pretend I know what that is. And, eyebrow?"

"Yes."

"Ummm… Lip?"

"Wrong. I'll leave the remaining two a secret, they're fairly well hidden and will be rather pleasant surprises."

"You don't have one in your dick do you Tetsurou?"

"Woah, no, no. Fuck that shit."

"So tongue and nipple then."

"How did you-?"

"Only other places hidden really."

"Right. I'm famous for the tongue piercing. If you know what I mean."

"Unfortunately yes."

"Aww you jelly Tsukki? Don't worry, you'll experience it too. My tongue is all yours."

" _Tetsurou_. You're trying to help me fall asleep not get me hard, remember?"

"Yes dear. I'm assuming you don't have any considering reaction and from pictures since I actually pay attention to more than just your beautiful face."

"Nope."

"Okay, when's your birthday?"

"27th of September."

"Ohhh that's soon. I have the perfect present for you."

"Oh God, I can practically see you winking with that stupid fucking grin. When's yours?"

"November 17, not long after, then you can return the favour."

"I'm hanging up if you keep talking to me like you're trying to seduce me. Sleep Tetsu!"

"Sorry baby."

"Tch… Have any tattoos?"

"Ahh a couple to accompany my piercings and help maintain my bad boy rep. I have a paw print on my forearm and a tribal-ish panther on my bicep."

"Wow, you really do like cats."

"Yeah, I do. I've been thinking about turning that arm into a sleeve but haven't really had any ideas for it so eh... Maybe in the future."

"Who is going to hire a tattooed lawyer?"

"I don't know when you last saw a lawyer but they generally don't wear anything but suits. Tattoos are easy to hide. I'll have to lose the piercings unfortunately. Well, the visible ones, don't worry babe, the tongue ring is staying. I talk perfectly well around it."

"Sorry, I didn't hear anything after you in a suit."

"Ha, yeah I look pretty hot in a suit. I assume you don't have any tattoos either mister goody-"

"No I do."

"Ohohoho, my sweet innocent little Tsukki has a tattoo!"

"I'm not sweet or innocent."

"But you don't deny that you're not mine…?"

"Shut up… I didn't—Okay there is no point arguing this with a soon to be lawyer when I'm this tired. I have a flock of crows on my shoulder blade."

"Uhhh _fuck_. Now who is getting who hard Tsukki! You play dirty."

"All I did was tell you about my tattoo, not my fault you have weird kinks. I could have purred it at you like you won't stop doing."

"Ahem, okay. Back on track. Favourite colour?"

"Black, like my soul…"

"Technically a shade but I'll allow it. Mine is red."

"Mmmm."

"Getting sleepy Tsukki?"

"Always sleepy. Sleep good. What position do you usually sleep in?"

"I thought that was going to end better than 'sleep in'. Um, I'm a very messy sleeper, I tend to move a lot in my sleep either on my side or stomach."

"Hence the bedhead?"

"More than likely, that's also because I have really thick hair. I bet you sleep like stiff as a board mister texts-like-a-lawyer-with-a-stick-up-his-arse."

"Mm… I don't really move much… mostly sleep on side or back."

"Oh my God you're even cuter when the agro fades into adorable sleepy… Are you cuddly Tsukki?"

"No."

"Is that a lie?"

"Yes. Don't tell anyone… Insert murderous threats here…"

"Your secret's safe we with me Tsukki. Trust remember?"

"Mm… Tetsu?"

"Yes, Kei."

"I want… to meet you."

"Soon gorgeous, I promise. You're… I really like you Kei."

"Me too. I like you a lot."

"Okay I think I've successfully talked you close to sleep. Which is rather insulting-"

"No, your voice is nice…"

"Thank you Tsukki. I also think you're going to be extremely embarrassed about this in the morning. Don't be though, you're adorable. Though that'll probably be most of the reason you're embarrassed. Anyway. Sleep well Tsukki."

"M'night Tetsu."

 **[03:47] Me  
** _Call disconnected._


	10. Chapter 10

Wednesday

 **[10:16] Tetsurou**  
ok so ima get ahead of this and apologise again for waking u  
also plz dont b embarrassed bout ur cuteness  
its cute

 **[10:23] Me  
** You're still going to die by my hand.

 **[10:23] Tetsurou  
** as long as its by ur hand and u do other things with ur hands first

 **[10:24] Me  
** No promises.

 **[10:26] Tetsurou  
** so ive been curious  
when we had phone sex u said that uve been thinkin bout me  
me n my 'fucking perfect body' was it…? :P

 **[10:26] Me**  
Get to the point.

 **[10:27] Tetsurou**  
aww my cute lil shy tsukki 333  
have u rly been thinkin bout me?  
do u rly like my body that much.. gasp :O is that all u want me for?!

 **[10:27] Me  
** No, you moron.  
Your body is just a nice bonus that comes with the dorky personality that I, for some reason, like.

 **[10:28] Tetsurou  
** hehe cute 3  
ok but srsly  
have u been thinkin bout me  
like when ur lonely or horny or just anytime rly  
bcoz i do  
sometimes i find it difficult to NOT think bout u

 **[10:31] Me  
** I'm the same. I think about you a lot. It's very frustrating.  
Because of you I've been needing to… relieve myself a lot more than usual.  
And I can't really think about anything but you while I do it.

 **[10:33] Tetsurou  
** O.O tsukkkkkiiiii  
omg u turn me on too much  
i looove hearing that from u makes me feel sooooo gooood 333333  
tsukki… the things u do to me  
can i ask for something?

 **[10:34] Me  
** Depends.

 **[10:34] Tetsurou  
** can i have a pic of u?  
not dirty  
just like a selfie  
for me ^_^

 **[10:36] Me  
** Ah, I guess, right now? I'm in public.

 **[10:36] Tetsurou  
** yes rn, dude snapchat, ppl take selfies like all the time  
esp at uni  
ull fit right in B)

 **[10:37] Me  
** Tch. Fine.

 **[10:37] Tetsurou  
** thats my good boy *pats*

 **[10:39] Me  
** _Sending image file…  
Image file sent._

 **[10:40] Tetsurou**  
＾▽＾ OMFG UR TOO ADORABLE  
love the gwumpy, pouty face  
i want to kiss a smile onto it  
also green really suits u  
where do u find all these cute af sweaters? or do all sweaters just look cute af on u?  
thank u babe!

 **[10:42] Me  
** Ah, you're welcome I guess.  
When did you start calling me "babe"?

 **[10:42] Tetsurou  
** when did u start callin me tetsu :P

 **[10:42] Me  
** Touché.  
Do I get one? A picture.

 **[10:44] Tetsurou**  
:D hehe was waiting for u to askkkk  
u want to see me too 333  
im at home so im not all fancy like u  
 _Receiving image file…  
Image received._

 **[10:44] Me**  
Your hair is ridiculous.

 **[10:44] Tetsurou**  
plz tell me that is not the only observation i get bcoz i knoooo  
eff my stupid hair

 **[10:45] Me**  
Don't call it stupid. I like it.  
You just look really… Warm. Not temperature wise (though that too) but like a warm person.  
Does that make sense…?

 **[10:47] Tetsurou  
** :O warm? thats… the SWEETEST thing ive ever heard!  
TSUUUKKKIIII you make my heart go crazy  
not hot or sexy or attractive but… warm 3  
omg  
fuk i cant take this ur too sweet tsukishima kei  
u have no idea how wonderful u r  
u have no idea how good u make me feel

 **[10:50] Me  
** I probably have some idea of how good I make you feel if it's anything like the way you make me feel.  
It's true though, that's what I feel when I look at you in your big red hoodie and ridiculously smug smile that's somehow charming. Warm.

 **[10:51] Tetsurou**  
u ttlly want to cuddle wit me rn dont u  
cant lie to be tsukki uve already given me ur cuddling fetish secret! ^_^

 **[10:51] Me  
** I really do.

 **[10:54] Tetsurou**  
shit kei…  
i do too

 **[10:56] Me**  
I have class but I'll text you when I get out.

 **[10:57] Tetsurou  
** enjoy bby xoxox

* * *

 **[11:01] me  
** problemmmmmmmmmmmmmm  
halp meeee

 **[11:04] lil kitty  
** I already told you to go see a shrink

 **[11:04] me  
** rude  
srsly harsh ken  
what did i ever do to u?! ( ˃̣̣ω˂̣̣ )

 **[11:04] lil kitty  
** is this about Tsukishima again?

 **[11:04] me**  
u kno me too well3

 **[11:05] lil kitty  
** what's up?

 **[11:08] me  
** i want to meet him  
finally  
but now that i kno how effing perf he is im rly nervous bout even bringing it up  
hes… omg ken (.◜ω◝.)  
i never thought id be able to find someone who not only tolerates my stupidity but goes along with it and makes me laugh bcoz of it  
no offence but ive never met anyone who can keep up with me b4

 **[11:09] lil kitty  
** none taken, I really don't WANT to be able to keep up with you  
you're tiring  
it sounds like you really like him Kuro  
I've never known you to be nervous before

 **[11:09] me  
** i rly do and his opinion of me matters sooo much  
fuck im so fucked D:  
what do i do ken  
save me from myself!

 **[11:10] lil kitty  
** where are you?  
I thought I heard you in our apartment… please tell me that's you

 **[11:10] me  
** haha yeah kitchen why

 **[11:10] lil kitty  
** ffs why are you texting me  
you're ridiculous

 **[11:11] me  
** i was makin food  
and then i was thinkin  
and i cant leave the food

 **[11:11] lil kitty  
** okay, whatever  
so you like him and the two of you get along really well right?

 **[11:11] me  
** rite

 **[11:13] lil kitty  
** then you shouldn't be so nervous  
if you get along now then you'll get along when you meet  
he's attracted to you (from what you won't stop bragging to me about)  
and he "not only tolerates" your stupidity  
therefore you don't have to worry about embarrassing yourself in front of him  
because let's face it you probably already have

 **[11:13] me**  
oi!

 **[11:13] lil kitty  
** you didn't deny it

 **[11:13] me  
** T_T

 **[11:14] lil kitty  
** so you have NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT  
but I get that that won't necessarily help  
where is Tsukishima right now?

 **[11:15] me  
** ina class

 **[11:17] lil kitty  
** perfect, when you finish making your food come in here and I'll text him for you  
he can't respond for a little while so you'll have some time to calm down once it's sent  
also bring me food

 **[11:17] me  
** ur such a needy lil kitty  
what would u do without me  
starve or freeze to death probs

 **[11:17] lil kitty  
** and you'd be a mess of a human being who isn't about to meet up with possibly the love of your life

 **[11:17] me  
** I NEVER SAID LOVE

 **[11:18] lil kitty  
** didn't have to :)

* * *

 **[11:21] Tetsurou  
** ok im going to send this while ur in class and cant respond becoz im kinda nervous  
i want to meet up  
tomorrow  
if ur free  
if ur ok with it  
told u i wouldnt last the 2 weeks :D

 **[11:54] Me  
** I'm free tomorrow, I can do that. Would really like to do that, in fact.  
Did you have anything in mind?

 **[11:54] Tetsurou  
** ohthankgod phewww  
ok so i was thinking somethin incredibly casual  
what do u usually do on fridays?

 **[11:55] Me  
** Ah study at the library after an early class.

 **[11:57] Tetsurou  
** the library, perf  
what time will u be there?

 **[11:57] Me  
** Class finishes at 10:30am so pretty much from 10:45am.

 **[11:58] Tetsurou  
** 11 it is  
we'll just treat it like friends meetin up  
which is… what it is anyway… u kno what i mean

 **[11:58] Me  
** Okay, well, I look forward to it.

 **[11:58] Tetsurou  
** me too

* * *

 **[19:28] Me  
** Fuck shit fuck shit fuck.

 **[19:30] Yamaguchi  
** Ummmm Tsukki? Did you stub your toe? Are you still home…?  
I haven't left the lounge room and I haven't seen you leave.  
Did you sneak out the window?

 **[19:30] Me  
** What? No.

 **[19:30] Yamaguchi  
** Then where are you? And WHY are you texting me instead of talking to me?

 **[19:31] Me  
** In my bedroom.  
It's embarrassing…

 **[19:31] Yamaguchi  
** What is?

 **[19:31] Me  
** We're meeting tomorrow.

 **[19:32] Yamaguchi  
** I hate to break it to you Tsukki but we've already met. Like, a long time ago.

 **[19:32] Me  
** Me and Tetsu smartarse.

 **[19:33] Yamaguchi  
** HOLY SHIT YOU'RE CALLING HIM "TETSU"?! THAT'S SO CUTE!  
HOLY SHIT YOU'RE MEETING HIM?  
KUROO TETSUROU!  
YOU'RE ACTUALLY (FINALLY) MEETING HIM!  
OMFG YESSS I CANT WAIT TO MEET UR PERFECT BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN!

 **[19:33] Me  
** You don't have to yell. Both in message and out loud. I can hear you by the way, our walls are thin.  
Tell Hinata to stop bouncing, we really don't need any more noise complaints because of him.  
Also, male physiology, remember to do some more study on that.

 **[19:35] Yamaguchi  
** Wait, so why is this embarrassing?  
And why did you start this conversation with a string of expletives?

 **[19:36] Me  
** I cannot get any work done. I cannot stop thinking about it and about him.  
My brain is dying.  
I'm losing all the important information I need to be an intelligent human being because of a "boy".  
What is wrong with me!?

 **[19:36] Yamaguchi  
** Awwww Tsukki! You're just nervous because you really like him.  
It's very sweet ^_^

 **[19:36] Me  
** Shut UP Yamaguchi!

 **[19:37] Yamaguchi  
** Sorry Tsukki!  
It's okay. You'll be okay. I promise.  
Do you have important things you need to finish tonight?

 **[19:37] Me  
** Not really.

 **[19:39] Yamaguchi**  
Okay, then just relax.  
Do something mindless for tonight because, trust me, it's not going to get any better.  
You're not going to be able to concentrate.  
Come and watch some Netflix with me and Shou!

 **[19:41] Me  
** No thank you. I don't think being relentlessly teased about this is going to help somehow.  
Nor do I want to be the third wheel to the gross cuddling.

 **[19:41] Yamaguchi  
** We'll be good we swear!  
I'll even deny Shou sex if he does anything remotely teasing or gross.

 **[19:42] Me  
** That sounds like a dangerous amount of power to put in my hands. Deal.

* * *

Thursday

 **[10:30] Tetsurou  
** soooooo ^_^

 **[10:33] Me  
** Don't do that. You're being weird.

 **[10:36] Tetsurou  
** im always weird!  
havent u learnt that by now  
im just nervous on top of my pre-existing weird  
not a good combo

 **[10:39] Me  
** Well calm down weirdo. It's not like it'll be that different.  
Also I'm here now. So whenever you're ready.

 **[10:41] Tetsurou  
** ofc it will be diff!  
ill be able to see ur fucking beautiful scowling face… its daunting  
just finishing getting ready

 **[10:42] Me**  
I really don't scowl that much.  
Just in pictures because… Well, I don't like pictures.

 **[10:46] Tetsurou  
** ok so im on my way over

 **[10:50] Me  
** Bokuto is here and talking to me.  
I don't know if you want him here or…

 **[10:50] Tetsurou**  
damn that effing owl  
no i dont want him there  
ill talk to him ill handle it tsukki!

* * *

 **[10:51] me  
** leave the library now bro

 **[10:52] brokuto  
** wtf r u on about  
how the fuck do u kno im in the library!?  
did keiji send u?!

 **[10:53] me  
** walk away from my beautiful bby and call me

 **[10:55] brokuto  
** _Incoming call…_


	11. Chapter 11

Rolling the ball of his tongue bar nervously in random patterns across the roof of his mouth Tetsurou makes his way towards the library at a brisk pace. He's excited and more than a little anxious; which, as a typically calm confident person, is rather telling. Not that he needs reminding of how important this is – his nerves certainly don't need the extra tension – but the way his body and mind are reacting to this situation is confirming things he wishes not to think about at present.

Tsukishima Kei is important to him. Incredibly so.

In such a short period of time – eleven days but who's counting – what started as a rather nice picture of a dinosaur-print clad arse on his phone one morning has turned into something Tetsurou's certain he doesn't want to lose. Ever. He feels like he's met his counterpart; a person who understands him and balances him. Someone special he thought he'd be waiting years to get to meet. So, here he is, approaching the building with said person inside.

 _Tsukishima Kei._

The phone in his hand vibrates and starts meowing his familiar ringtone. Knowing already who is calling he swipes his finger across the screen and raises it to his ear.

"Bro."

" _What the fuck are you on, bro?_ " Bokuto's adorably confused voice comes through the phone.

"I need you to not be here right now. Or at least be in a different section of the library. Far, far from Tsukki."

" _What are you talking about? Are you getting like territorial or something? Because I'm very happy with Keiji no matter how pretty Tsukki is, you really don't have to worry-_ "

"No, you idiot," Tetsurou chuckles imagining the scrunched expression his best friend is making. "I'm meeting him today. I'm outside right now."

" _Oh my God, serious? Bro, that's awesome! Finally!_ " Bokuto squawks loudly and shushing can be heard in the background. How Bokuto hasn't been banned from the place he will never know. " _Wait, why don't you want me there?_ "

"I just need to meet Tsukki alone, y'know?" He says, hoping his best friend understands because he really doesn't want to talk about his nervousness right now. "Just do what you're told, don't make me call Akaashi."

Bokuto whines loudly. " _Fiiiine. But I want details after! All of them._ "

"Of course dude!"

" _Are you nervous? I remember my first couple of dates with Keiji, I was a fuckin' mess._ "

"I'm pacing out the front of the library and people are staring at me, what do you think?"

" _Shit bro, be strong! He's on the second level where Keiji and I usually study._ "

"Thanks man, I'll talk to you later."

" _Good luck!_ " Bokuto all but yells into the phone before Tetsurou can hang up. Luckily the phone was away from his ear.

With a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth Tetsurou shakes his head and opens the message window with Kei.

 **[11:01] me  
** is he gone

 **[11:01] kei~~  
** Yes and he winked at me on the way. Rather disturbing.

Tetsurou's mouth pulls tighter, into a broad grin, as he reads the message. Trust Bokuto to inadvertently lighten his mood. Best wingman ever.

Sucking in a deep breathe Tetsurou stuffs his phone back into his jacket pocket – along with both his hands – and enters the large modern library building. On most weekdays the university's library is a busy place, packed full of young adult bodies attempting to concentrate in the forced quiet. Tetsurou's never understood the need for silence when it comes to his studies but he knows many who prefer it away from the distractions of the home environment. Today, however, there are fewer people.

His sharp eyes move over the students sitting with heads bent over desks when he reaches the second floor. His gaze moves to where Bokuto informed him Kei is and he spots a head of soft wavy blond hair facing away from him. Heart jumping off-beat in his chest Tetsurou forces his legs to move forward.

As he gets closer he notices the soft pale skin of Kei's long elegant neck and his long legs stretched out underneath the table. He's wearing a white button up under a black sweater, blue jeans and white Adidas originals, and there is a brown overcoat hanging over the back of his seat next to his messenger bag. His sleeves are rolled up as he leans over the book open on the desk in front of him.

 _Shit, shit, shit,_ Tetsurou thinks. _Why does he have to be so damn attractive?_

Taking another deep breath Tetsurou walks around the table the blond's sitting at, discerning the black frames of Kei's glasses out the corner of his eye before taking a seat.

 _You can do this Tetsurou._

* * *

The page in front of him varies in levels of blur as Kei gazes down at it but doesn't really _see_ it, and certainly doesn't _read_ it. How can he? His heart is galloping against his ribcage and his thoughts are swimming with images of messy black hair, inelegant yet sweet text messages and a mischievous voice that's far too smooth. He wonders about the effects of said voice along with that startlingly disarming grin; the result can be nothing good.

Kei glances down at his phone once more, barely moving his hand to turn the display back on and unsurprisingly finding no new messages. Hopefully he can effectively maintain his outward appearance of indifference it in Tetsurou's presence. _Yeah right,_ he thinks cynically.

 _You can do this Kei._

Around the thick black arm of his glasses he notices movement in his periphery and Kei's body stiffens as someone slumps down casually into the seat across from him. It takes all his willpower not to look up. He's never met Tetsurou but he can just feel it, feel his presence. It sends his heart stuttering.

"Yo, dino butt," a familiar smooth voice says.

The corner of Kei's lip curls involuntarily and he's suddenly extremely glad he's looking down.

"You're late," he drawls in response.

There is a pause. "Yeah, sorry, had to deal with a dumb owl… Must be an interesting textbook."

He can hear the impatience in Tetsurou's voice, the nervous edge to his tone and it settles his own nerves some. _At least I'm not the only one._ Slowly Kei lifts his head, just enough to glance up at Tetsurou over the top of his glasses and the first thing he sees is Tetsurou's tight smile falter and fall as their gazes meet for the first time. Straightening in his chair Kei regards the attractive man across from him, fighting to keep his expression passive.

Tetsurou looks exactly the same as he does in the pictures. Considering the fact that Kei has been ogling said pictures all week he should be pretty much immune to the sheer attractiveness that is Kuroo Tetsurou. Pictures, however, do not do justice to the pure magnetism of his presence.

 _Holy shit._

"Shit…" Tetsurou breathes.

Rich amber eyes observe him with fascination that sends goosebumps prickling across his skin like phantom fingertips. Tetsurou's jet black hair is as unkempt as ever, the way Kei likes it. His hands are tucked into the pockets of his black leather jacket and underneath he's wearing his red zip-up hoodie – the one Kei likes – and a white t-shirt. He's slouched back in his chair, dark bangs covering almost half his face.

"I… Uh," Tetsurou clears his throat, a small nervous smile curling his lips. "Hi."

Kei can't help but smile because, _I'm making Kuroo Tetsurou nervous._ "Hello Tetsurou."

He stares for a silent moment and then groans, planting his head on the desk to hide his face. "Tsukki, _don't_!"

"And here I thought you were supposed to be the confident, unflustered one," Kei chuckles.

"I usually am… It's just… You. You make me stupid Tsukki."

His eyes widen at that, heat rising to his face because now apparently it's his turn. Kei remembers the words, it's not the first time Tetsurou's spoken them to him. Tetsurou turns his head just in time to see the blush on Kei's pale cheeks and clearly sees an opportunity to make it worse.

"Akaashi was right though," Tetsurou says, lifting his head, leaning his elbows on the desk. "You're incredibly attractive Tsukishima Kei."

Teeth clench together as Kei fights against the smile that threatens to accompany his embarrassing blushing. How can Tetsurou recover so damn quickly? Now he's grinning, far too pleased with himself and it would be a lie to say it isn't breathtaking. Kei can already hear the purr on Tetsurou's mouth of how 'cute' he looks blushing.

"Can you not?" Kei manages to grind out.

He chuckles. "Yeah, we should probably stop fucking with each other… In public," Tetsurou winks because apparently his suggestive tone isn't convincing enough of his playfulness. "This was a bad idea on my part, forgot how many people there always are here even on quieter days. Want to get out of here?"

Kei simply raises an eyebrow at this proposition, which immediately makes Tetsurou worry.

"N-No! No, I didn't mean like that," he says, shaking his head far too vigorously. "I was just—There's a park nearby and there are less people and less need to be quiet and… This is all sounding a lot worse than I mean it to."

"It's okay, I get it. Trust, remember?"

Tetsurou's face slowly breaks into a genuinely happy smile. "So you trust me now Tsukki?"

Shrugging nonchalantly Kei packs his books into his bag and unfolds himself from the chair, rolling his stiff shoulders as he stands. Tetsurou stands with him and he can't help but notice the black skinny jeans that cling sinfully to muscular legs, and the bright red Converse hi-tops on his feet. His eyes roam Tetsurou's body and Kei notices the way his clothes tighten across his shoulders and chest; in all the right places.

Turning abruptly from the dark haired man – who's grinning because he clearly caught Kei ogling – Kei pulls his coat on and slings his messenger bag over his shoulder, making his way down the stairs without making sure Tetsurou's following. He knows he is though. He can feel the practically predatory eyes on him. When they exit the library Kei slows so that Tetsurou can lead the way to this park.

"Which park?" Kei asks, mostly for something to say. There is a surprisingly comfortable silence between them as they walk but he really wants to hear Tetsurou's voice.

"Just the one across from the sports centre. It's very tree-y, private and… This also sounds creepy."

"I trust you," he responds with certainty. Kei's uncertain _when_ it happened but it's true.

Tetsurou smiles at him again but Kei avoids looking at him, avidly. If expressionless Kuroo Tetsurou is ridiculously attractive then smiling Kuroo Tetsurou is practically mesmerising. It's very much not fair. Kei grips at the strap of his messenger bag because no matter how confident his words are spoken he's crumbling inside. His façade is probably weak at this point but at least it's still there.

"What class did you have this morning?" Tetsurou asks, his voice more casual and relaxed.

"Uh a history class, we're studying World War II," he explains, speaking about his beloved topic soothing him. "One of my favourite time periods. Which sounds horrible considering what happened but… It's fascinating."

"And here I would have thought your favourite time period would be the Jurassic period."

"Dinosaurs lived for millions of years across multiple periods, not just the Jurassic period. They existed throughout the Mesozoic _Era_ ," Kei corrects, seeing and ignoring the smirk Tetsurou's giving him. "And again, not studying palaeontology; History, _human_ History."

"What's your favourite dinosaur?"

"Stop," he groans.

"What?" Tetsurou questions, raising his arms defensively but still grinning. "I'm curious! Honest. I'm not teasing you."

"You're always teasing me."

"This is true. You're pretty fun to tease Tsukki. But this one I honestly really want to know. I like that you like dinosaurs, it's-"

"Cute, yeah, I get it," Kei sighs and rolls his eyes. "Fine. My favourite is the Ankylosaurus. They're of the suborder Thyreophora or the "shield bearers". I like the protective armour across their back, it's…"

"Cool," Tetsurou supplies and surprisingly there isn't a hint of humour in his voice. "Seems like you to like the idea of being protected. Guarded."

Biting his lip he glances at Tetsurou from the corner of his eye and finds the dark haired man's eyes trailed on the ground, a fond smile curling his mouth sweetly. It does _not_ make Kei's heart flutter in his chest knowing that Tetsurou knows him so well and likes that he knows him so well. Noticing the silence Tetsurou glances up at him.

"What? I like listening to you talk about it."

Kei swallows, moving his gaze back to the park they're now entering. "I assume you'd only have a favourite based on Jurassic Park. Probably the Tyrannosaurus Rex."

"Nah, too big and dumb. I like the Velociraptor or those spitting ones; they're sneaky fuckers."

"Dilophosaurus. Grossly misinterpreted in the movie. Perhaps the most misinterpreted."

"Good to know."

"You're never going to stop asking me about dinosaurs are you?" Kei questions.

Tetsurou chuckles. "Probably not. Never know when that shit could come in handy in court."

They've entered the park, it's rather pleasant and as quiet as Tetsurou said. Paths cut through thick patches of trees and as they stroll leisurely down a random one they're quickly enclosed in the privacy of nature, hidden from the few people that are here. As soon as they are Tetsurou nudges Kei in the arm and offers his hand, his rich amber eyes flickering over Kei's hands that are ringing at the strap of his bag.

Stopping in his tracks – Tetsurou following suit beside him – Kei gapes at him wide eyed. Instead of offering any kind of explanation Tetsurou takes advantage of his stunned state and reaches for his hand that has loosened its grip. Their fingers lace together, fitting perfectly, and all Kei can do is stare at the smile softening Tetsurou's attractive face.

"I come jogging through here sometimes," Tetsurou says conversationally as if nothing has changed and continues on down the path, pulling Kei after him. "There is this hidden park bench, no idea why or who thought it was a good place to put one, but I go there to chill sometimes after swimming or to study."

He's honestly way too shocked right now to even contemplate a response. All this mind can focus on is the warmth of Tetsurou's hands and the comforting firmness of his strong grip. His heart is certainly getting a workout today.

It doesn't take long to get to said park bench that is indeed in an odd place off the main path and hidden around the corner of a thick row of trees and bushes. Tetsurou leads them to the bench and let's go of Kei's hand before sitting down. Kei sits more slowly, keeping distance between them, and shrugs off his bag, placing it by his foot.

"So, am I what you imagined?" Tetsurou questions, turning to face him, sitting sideways with a long leg folded underneath him.

"Your hair really is crazy," Kei deadpans.

Of course Tetsurou starts laughing and it's really nice to watch, he can't help but smile himself. He doesn't usually smile this much.

"And here I thought we'd established this. I honestly cannot fix it," Tetsurou laments, pouting dramatically as he runs his fingers through it. "I have tried so much that I just gave up. It's a lost cause."

"I like it."

"You didn't answer my question though."

"You're, um, pretty much what I expected," Kei answers.

"But…?"

"But you're more… intimidating."

"Me? _I'm_ intimidating?" Tetsurou questions, incredulous. "Have you looked in a mirror lately mister perpetually-impassive?"

Kei drops his gaze to his hands, all too aware of how he comes across. "That's true."

"And yet so extraordinarily beautiful."

Without Kei noticing Tetsurou's shuffled closer so when Kei gazes up at him hastily he's surprised by how close their faces are. Immediately Tetsurou's eyes flicker down to Kei's lips and in that one movement heat spreads through his body. Leaning in instinctively Tetsurou seems to forcibly stop himself, eyes moving back up to meet Kei's in an uncharacteristic display of self-control. Tetsurou never struck him as someone with restraint and in the short period of time they've spent together that intensity Tetsurou had told him about is difficult to miss. It feels important that he's stopping himself from simply taking what he wants.

"Can I?" Tetsurou asks, his voice low and seductive but the question is genuine.

Instead of answering – because words, even a simple 'yes' or 'no', are failing him – Kei leans forward, closing the distance, and closes his eyes as their mouths press together. Fingers quickly find his cheek, cupping his face as Tetsurou tilts his head to get a better angle. The kiss is soft and slow, tongues sliding experimentally – but innocently – over lips. It feels… Magical. Which Kei didn't realise was even a word in his vocabulary.

Tetsurou hums contentedly as he unhurriedly pulls away from Kei's mouth, his thumb caressing Kei's cheekbone with more affection than he's ever felt in his entire life, let alone a single touch. Breathing heavily against Tetsurou's mouth Kei's fairly certain his heart will never beat steadily again. Slowly he opens his eyes to see a blissful smile curling Tetsurou's mouth that, if Kei had his breath in the first place, would take it away.

"Remind me to thank your not-friends," Tetsurou murmurs.

Kei smiles uninhibited. "They don't deserve it."

"Right, I'll just have to thank your worship worthy arse then."

"Maybe later."

" _Definitely_ later."

* * *

"Wow four years together, that's impressive. How did you meet?"

"We went to the same University and met on campus. Tetsurou's best friend was-"

"Kei's not-friends played a prank on him when he was passed out drunk and sent a picture of his arse to half his contact list which coincidentally included me because I knew one of his friends who had saved my number to Kei's phone. He has a nice arse so of course I started texting him."

" _Tetsu!_ "

"What babe? It's true."

* * *

 **A/N:** I cannot believe this is over :( I had so much fun writing this! I genuinely love these two boys so much; separately they are my favourite characters and together they are my favourite ship (of all time). This will certainly not be the last time I write them (already started my LONG slow burn chaptered fic for them as my fanfic project of the year - and probably longer - and really excited to get further into it).

Thank you all so much for coming along this ride with me for KuroTsukki Week (and a half). Thank you for all the kudos and subs and AMAZING comments! I appreciate the support and glad I could give you some entertainment ^_^

Live long and KuroTsuki for life 3


End file.
